Do you have unpleasant emotions that cling to you like lint on a sweater? They certainly stay stuck unless you pull off each rolled-up ball of yarn.
Have you ever done anything to release your emotions that cling and keep you in a stuck place?
I am going to talk specifically about guilt because it is a topic that continues to arise in many circumstances.
It comes up during coaching sessions with clients and enters into my casual conversations with friends.
People tend to feel guilty a lot. It may be unwarranted and often stems from past experiences or what they grew up believing about themselves. Have you felt that way about yourself? Is guilt wrapped around your neck like a too tight turtleneck?
Does this nasty emotion control you? If you answered, yes then you are not alone. The emotions of guilt infused every cell of my body after my husband Steve died by suicide in 2005.
Is guilt filling your mind and body too? Do you ask the same questions over and over again about your circumstance? I constantly asked, ”Why didn’t I stay home from work the day Steve killed himself?” Sadly, that question and many others haunted me. You may have had the same questions infusing you with strong emotions.
Fortunately, one day a light bulb went on for me. I describe it as an illuminating force that surrounded me and allowed me see things differently. I became aware that I needed to release those questions once and for all because I would never have any answers to them. It was necessary to examine my state of existence. I realized I was in a stuck state and not living to my fullest potential. Consequently, I began to change my thoughts.
I began to think about the energy of love and I knew that love was eternal. Therefore, if love was eternal, then the love I shared with Steve would always exist. So why should I live in such an unhappy state? Steve would want me to be happy. He was happy in his realm and I believed that he would want me to be happy in mine. These ideas freed me from my guilt emotions and opened up my mind and spirit to greater expression and understanding.
The realization that the “what if” and “why” questions couldn’t be answered was liberating. I needed to accept the things that happened. Don’t you see, that living with those questions always hanging over your head will haunt you and keep you in a stuck state?
So, what must you do? First, you must become aware that those questions are floating around in your head! When they arise it’s important to recognize them and consciously make a switch. Or what I like to say is, create a new thought bubble! Remember, the brain can only hold one thought at a time, therefore once you recognize this negative thought you have a choice. You can switch to a pleasant thought. One exercise I like is to symbolically go to a light switch and flip it off, and then flip it on with a new good thought. Also, as you begin this process I recommend that you physically do the exercise with the light switch. Do it every day for 21 days, this will create a new habit. This instilled habit and your brain will automatically flip the switch off and on in your mind and reframe your thoughts. This is meant to bring your power back to you, not be an escape from reality.
There are also many other tools to help move you beyond a stuck state, but it’s up to you to begin the process.
Check out my courses on Udemy
- Grief- A New Way of Thinking
- Be Gentle with Me, I’m Grieving
Check out my Books On Amazon
- Book 1: 3 Must Have Connections for Inner Peace
- Book 2: Be Gentle with Me, I’m Grieving
- Book 3: Moving to Excellence, A Pathway to Transformation after Grief
I hope that you will begin the journey and allow good to enter your life.
Love and Light,
Connect with Robin Chodak on The Wellness Universe & Walk Away Feeling Better!
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Robin left her job after 20 years as a computer software systems analyst following the suicide of her husband in 2005. Her journey through grief led to her transformation. She is a published author. A grief, life, and spiritual coach, and also shares inspiration with others through her teachings.