What Shipwrecks Teach About Resilience

Some days, our lives might feel like a shipwreck. How do we navigate through the storms of life back into calm waters? The stories of two real-life shipwrecks can offer us valuable lessons to help us trust our inner guidance system and navigate life’s challenges.

My sister and I visited the Maritime Museum in Duluth, Minnesota, where we learned about two shipwrecks. The stories inspired me to think about the skills we need to weather the storms of our lives.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Rogue Wave

The Edmund Fitzgerald, the Titanic of the Great Lakes, sank suddenly on Lake Superior during a storm on November 10, 1975. Songwriter, Gordon Lightfoot commemorated the 29 lives lost during the storm in a hit song, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

The Fitzgerald was the largest cargo ship on the Great Lakes. It made 748 round trips and traveled over a million miles. No one expected the big ship to go down in the storm. The official coast guard report determined that human error caused the ship to sink (unclosed latches allowed water to fill the hull).

However, Captain Cooper of the ship following behind the Fitzgerald that day disagreed. He offered his own conclusion based on the evidence of being in the storm and in constant contact with the Fitzgerald until the communication suddenly went quiet. Cooper reported the storm had knocked out both the Fitzgerald’s radar and the lighthouse radar on the shore. Cooper believes the captain of the Fitzgerald was navigating blind in the storm and hit uncharted rocks that caused damage to the hull. Then, a rogue 35-foot wave came from behind to snap the big ship in two.

The Wreck of the Thomas Wilson – Human Error

On June 7, 1902, the Thomas Wilson, an iron ore freighter, collided with another ship, the George Hadley, on a clear day in calm waters a mile outside the harbor. The Wilson steamed out of the harbor with a load of iron ore and with the hatches open because the water was calm. The Hadley was steaming into the harbor. The captain of the Hadley ordered a turn to port without noticing the Wilson and without sounding the required whistle signals. The Wilson turned to starboard, trying to avoid the Hadley. Human error caused the collision of the two ships. The Wilson sank in three minutes, drowning nine of the crew members. The collision and wreck led to significant changes in operating procedures at Duluth Harbor.

Avoiding a Shipwreck in Our Lives

In our lives, sometimes we get hit with a rogue 35-foot wave while our radar is down. A health diagnosis, a divorce, a death, or a job loss can cause our lives to feel like a shipwreck.

Sometimes, we make errors. Miscalculate the distance to the goal. Misinterpret another person’s words or intentions. Forget to take an important action. Mistakes happen that can shipwreck our lives.

How can you self-correct before crashing on the rocks during turbulent times?

• Practice mindful self-awareness of the state of your nervous system.
• Create space and time to reconnect to your inner guidance system.
• Notice and listen to your inner wisdom for guidance.
• Move your body to transform and disburse emotional energy before it gets stuck.

Here are three awareness practices to incorporate into your daily life to build resilience while navigating life’s challenges.

1. Regulate the Nervous System

Mindful co-regulation and coherence of our nervous system helps us navigate our inner and outer worlds.

Challenges such as natural disasters, health issues, financial struggles, and relationship problems can crash over us and overwhelm our capacity to cope. The heartache of confronting challenges is a part of being alive. How we move through heartache defines our resilience.

It’s important to recognize when our container is overfilled and find ways to stabilize it.

Here are three practical and simple ways to regulate your nervous system:

• Deep Breathing
  • Practice diaphragmatic breathing, or “belly breathing.” This activates the parasympathetic nervous system’s Rest & Digest response to help your body tell your brain that it is safe to relax.
  • Try box breathing: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts.
• Physical Movement
  • Engage in regular exercise like walking, running, or yoga.
  • Try unstructured Body-Soul Movement. Create time and space, and allow your body to move freely without judgment. Notice how your body prefers to move in the moment.
• Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Listen to a neutral sound, like a fan, to allow your mind to rest. Notice sounds, colors, scents, and the feeling of where your body connects to the space around you. Notice your awareness of the present moment.
  • Use guided meditations or apps to help you focus and relax.

Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves.
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma“

2. Notice Your Relationship to Impulse

Observing our impulses without immediately acting on them helps build resilience. Notice your relationship to impulse—not just giving over to it. For instance, notice the impulse to grab a handful of chips or a cookie as you pass through the kitchen. Notice the impulse to respond to a co-worker with a sarcastic retort. Observe the impulse rather than act.

Try incorporating these actions into your daily routine so you can better manage impulses and make more deliberate, thoughtful decisions.

Pause and Breathe

• Take a few deep breaths before reacting to an impulse. This can help calm your mind and give you a moment to think.

Delay Gratification

• Practice delaying the urge to act on an impulse. For example, tell yourself, Let’s see if I still want this after ten minutes. Often, the impulse will pass, diminish in intensity, or become manageable.

Replace the Impulse

• Find alternative, healthier activities to replace an impulsive behavior. For instance, rather than shouting at the kids or snacking when you’re not hungry, go for a walk.

Use Positive Self-Talk

• Encourage yourself with positive affirmations and reminders of your strengths and capabilities. Tell yourself: I know this is difficult, and you’re doing a good job. Way to go!

Ask yourself: What is the source of this impulse? How can I respond in a way that nourishes me and the relationship with someone else rather than simply reacting? When we make space to respond rather than simply react, we can find the flexibility and fluidity to navigate between different states of being. This practice helps us become more mindful and deliberate in our actions and contributes to building a more resilient mindset.

As I often tell my students, the two most important phrases in therapy, as in yoga, are ‘Notice that’ and ‘What happens next?’ Once you start approaching your body with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts.
― Bessel A. van der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma”

3. Cultivate Relationships with Others

As you interact with others, try to show up with as much presence as possible. Notice that your boundaries are sturdy and also receptive to new energy.

Our interactions with others significantly impact our nervous system. In safe spaces, we tend to be more open to details, possibilities, and exploration. However, when we feel threatened, we tend to narrow our focus in that moment. We may perceive the risk of new experiences as a threat. Understanding these patterns helps us renegotiate our relationships with what our nervous system can handle.

Trauma occurs when our nervous system is overwhelmed. By working with smaller, manageable parts of our experiences, we can gradually build resilience and adaptability. When we practice sustained attention to what wants to happen, we become more agile and more embodied.

Practice Active Listening

• Focus on the person speaking. Make eye contact. Put your phone down and avoid distractions.
• Show you are listening by reflecting on or paraphrasing what they say to show you understand.

Maintain Open Body Language

• Keep your body language open and relaxed. Uncross your arms and legs. An open posture helps you create a welcoming environment.
• Being mindful of your body language allows you to stay aware of your physical presence and be a positive influence.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

• Encourage deeper conversations by asking open-ended questions.
• You can engage with the other person in a more profound way. This can allow you to deepen your self-awareness and explore your own thoughts and feelings in response.

Practice Self-Compassion

• Be kind to yourself in challenging situations. Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can in the moment.
• You may find it challenging to balance attentiveness to others and your inner experience. Give yourself grace and recognize that this is a skill that improves with practice.

Try adding these practices to your day to help maintain a balance between external engagement and internal awareness. You can stay present with others while attending to your own inner experience. Meaningful and authentic interactions nourish you at a soul level and strengthen your ability to cope with life challenges.

By becoming aware of our inner experiences,
connecting to our bodies with curiosity,
and listening to our inner wisdom,
we can navigate life’s storms
with greater confidence and resilience.

The lessons from shipwrecks teach us that resilience is not only about surviving the storms of life. By regulating our nervous system, observing our impulses, and cultivating healthy relationships with others, we can build a more resilient and fulfilling life. Follow these practices to reconnect with your inner GPS and navigate through life’s storms with grace and strength.

Connect with Leah on The Wellness Universe.

References

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-44678-000

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_Edmund_Fitzgerald

Thomas Wilson Shipwreck: https://www.superiortrips.com/NShoreShipwreckImages/Wilson_Shipwreck.htm

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Leah Skurdal

Leah Skurdal guides people to up-level their stress resilience to improve relationships. Leah shares intuitive insights in private Energy Healing to address the roots of disharmony. As an inspirational speaker and published author, Leah offers lively classes, experiential workshops, and keynotes.