As we travel towards the end of 2023, we have a lot of holidays coming up. In the US, Thanksgiving starts the extravaganza followed by Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, and ending on New Year’s.
Like many women, I have issues with the whole holiday season. I tend to dislike being in large groups, I have very tangential relationships with my family, and I used to have a very difficult time trying to manage my behavior and feelings at gatherings.
One year, I realized I didn’t have to go. That’s right, I am allowed to say “No, thanks!” No holiday drama, no pissed off relatives, and no travel stress. Hubby and I made some nice food, got more delivered, and chilled at home.
Each year, I carefully decide what to put on my plate. You can too!
How to stay in harmony over the holidays
First, decide how many events you can handle.This can change year to year. I decided this year that I can do one, and that is drinks with friends Thanksgiving night. I’ve lovingly said no to everything else – everything!
Second, decide who you want to be with.Not feeling the annual office party? Bow out or show up for the first half hour so everyone sees you, and then cut out early. Do you have family issues like me? Just say no to the gatherings that make you anxious. Send gifts if appropriate.
Just making sure that you protect yourself from other people’s harshness will help you feel better and more regulated. And if they insist? Show up for dessert and spend an hour.
Third, remember that life will still happen.The lie of the wellness industry is that once you regulate yourself and care for yourself, life will magically become easy. It’s just plain false!
Life will still happen. People will annoy you, scheduling will be crazy, and accidents and illnesses will still pop up when you least expect them. Take them as they come, and don’t be angry with yourself for sometimes not handling things well. People are more understanding than you think!
Finally, be good to yourself.It is not selfish to focus on your own needs and feelings during busy times of year. It’s perfectly appropriate to take as much time and space as you need for yourself.
Food can be ordered in. Presents can be bought online and shipped. Cash tips can be done anytime – even after the holiday. We are encouraged to push all year long, and then have this extra holiday stress when we’re at our most exhausted at the very end of year.
Be kind, grateful, and easy on yourself. Be the example to friends and family on how to sail through this season with grace and ease. While harmony may not be a word you’ve ever associated with the Holiday Season, I invite you to bring some in and take care of yourself. I promise you everyone will enjoy it!
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