3 Steps to Detoxifying from Obligation and Living Life on Your Own Terms:
If you’re finding yourself acting from the energy of obligation, best change that right away.
The energy of obligation is toxic and so far off course from what feeds your soul most times, it can literally suffocate you, leaving you resentful, angry, and sometimes downright ill. Here are three easy steps to detoxify from that energy and create a new practice that nourishes everything you do.
The idea of acting from duty or obligation is taught to us from an early age.
Thinking, believing, and acting in ways that maintain our perfect, good girl status becomes part of who we are and we get used to it, even when it starts to feel painful. We believe doing what we’re told is what makes us worthy and lovable. And then we continue to do that well into adulthood, ignoring the messages and sacrificing our happiness and health along the way.
I ignored the whispers for a long time until I started to have chest pains and anxiety. Finding myself rubbing my chest and thinking, shit, I’m going to have a heart attack, more often than not, I figured I better do something about it. But I was afraid. I was afraid to speak up and say I was unhappy. Afraid to stop doing everything and making myself resentful. Afraid to be me. Afraid to make the change I knew had to happen to redirect my life.
I’d spent so long acting out of duty and obligation as a daughter, student, athlete, mother, wife, and employee, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. My life had become a series of actions fueled by obligation instead of desire and purpose. It took a while for the physical manifestation of that (chest pain) to start. I’d been ignoring the whispers from my soul, the messages from my intuition letting me know I wasn’t on the right path.
I’m grateful for my path as a healer. I started learning what integrating mind, body, and soul really meant, especially the importance of listening to that inner knowing and connecting with that powerful voice inside. I’d like to offer a few simple steps to understand how to recognize and transform a life lived out of obligation to one lived free, on your own terms, so that you can truly start to change the world.
Remember, you’re not doing anyone any favors by living a toxic life of obligation and duty.
That energy not only starts to corrode your soul, but it also seeps out toward those you say you’re serving, and they feel it. When you begin to live backed by the energy of your deepest desires, purpose, mission, and calling, that energy transforms the world with love, gratitude, joy, and kindness; because you’ve first given those things to yourself. Begin with these simple steps I’ve shared below to help shift to a life lived on your own terms; The only authentic way to help the world.
Here Are 3 Steps to Detoxifying from Obligation and Living on Your Own Terms:
Take Moments to Know What Makes You Happy.
When you’ve lived a long life serving everyone else but yourself, you’ve disconnected from your own desires. So, it’s the first step. Start to do some quiet meditation and journaling about your own desires, what turns you on, brings you pure joy and helps motivate you to wake up in the morning. What’s the feeling behind those desires? Learn to describe it. It should be a very good feeling in your body.
Start to Recognize When You’re Feeling the Opposite.
Acting from obligation has another feeling. You’ll need to begin to feel that too. It’s often quite the opposite from what really makes you happy. Notice the tightness in your gut. The chokehold on your throat. Wake up to the fact you’re actually pretty grumpy. None of these feelings feed your soul. Your soul was meant for joy. When it’s not joy, reassesses, take a pause, and let yourself understand the difference.
Start Saying No to Things You Don’t Want to Do.
Recognize the feeling that’s toxic for you and choose your own joy for once. Then begin to make it an unapologetic habit. Understand that when you’re operating from a place of pure desire and joy, the fuel for your soul helps light a fire that’s bright enough to change the world.
Making this shift may feel difficult at first because you’re going against long-standing patterns of behavior that you’ve identified with as a survival mechanism. Rather, bring yourself the love and worthiness you long for. Use this awareness.
Living from obligation is toxic energy that will kill your spirit.
It’s time to think, believe, and act in ways that nourish your soul because that is what changes the world into a place that we can all live happily ever after.
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Laura Di Franco, MPT is an intuitive writing strategist, holistic physical therapist, published author, poet and third-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do with over two decades of experience in healing. She teaches transformational tools and powerful strategy for nourishing and inspiring your fiercely alive whole self. Learn more about Laura on her website.