Forgiveness is something we learn we should do, yet sometimes it is difficult. We may want to forgive but do not feel we are ready to do so. Resentment can literally feel dense and heavy as a sensation in the body. It may feel as if it is stuck or stagnant. You may feel it, but not know how to release it. Learning how to forgive stretches us and helps us deepen our compassion for others and ourselves.
Here Are 7 Steps to Forgiveness:
Exploring the blocks to forgiveness with self-awareness
The first step in forgiving is understanding and recognizing your standards. You may realize you are holding resentment towards someone. You may feel a strong sense of righteous indignation as the result of an injustice. Whatever you are aware of is your starting point. You have had a challenging experience. You have decided that your boundary for decency has been crossed and you have made a stand. It’s important to realize that you have made a judgment about this situation and you are sticking to it. By clarifying your beliefs and the limits you place on them, you can clearly see where you stand. Then notice how strongly you hold to these principles. What is your commitment to the beliefs that you carry about the incident? Are you determined to hold to your stance or is there room for a softening in your position?
Look at the situation from different perspectives
Get curious. What are you saying to yourself about the situation and the person? What are you saying about the relationship? Is there any part of the relationship for which you remain grateful?
Feeling your resentment in the body
More importantly, when you think about the situation, person, or relationship, where do you feel it as a sensation in the body? Meet yourself where you are with these sensations. Embrace and love them. As you allow yourself to feel the sensations arising in your body, as you think about what happened, the pent-up energy you are holding around it will release. You may feel some heat. Whatever you feel, allow it to move, even if it doesn’t feel comfortable. When you can go with the flow of the energy’s motion, you will most likely feel a shift and a release. Keep staying present with the sensations you feel and surrender to them. The Infinite Wisdom of the body knows just what to do with this energy.
Re-evaluate your readiness to forgive
Now that you have let go of the energy you held in your body, re-evaluate whether you are ready to forgive. Revisit your original position. Is there any room to alter your stance at all? Do you have more willingness to forgive? I’m not saying condone what happened or what they did. I am saying forgive and release.
Ask for help with forgiveness
If you want to forgive, yet are having difficulty with it, ask for help from your Higher Power… the Source of All That Is. Surrender your situation to It with all your heart. This is a sacred act of prayer in action.
Forgiving for your family and lineage
Ancestral Clearing is a powerful modality for releasing resentment. We carry a burden from our family members. When we clear the unresolved parts around resentment from our lineage and family members, there is more clarity for us around our own issues with it. This modality is so powerful as to be a real game-changer in helping us let go of resentment.
It’s your forgiveness process – honor yourself
Be at ease with how you are in the present moment. If you are angry at the person who committed the act against you, then recognize your anger. Accept your experience. If you resist how you feel, if you judge yourself for being angry, or wish you weren’t angry, you will suffer. If you judge yourself for not being able to find forgiveness, simply accept that you haven’t found it yet. Recognize your resistance. Are you willing to stay here in suffering or are you willing to explore an alternative, such as letting go of your resistance to let go of the resentment? Let go of self-abasement and self-judgment. We hold resentments when we experience injustice. We bear the hardship of such experiences as part of our identity. We feel victimized and powerless over what happened. We take back our power when we realize that the only power we truly have is the power to forgive.
Which of these steps to forgiveness do you plan on putting into your personal toolbox? Please share it with us in the comments section below!
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Elizabeth is a Health Facilitator, Empowerment Coach, EFT/Tapping and Ancestral Clearing Practitioner, and Kundalini Yoga Teacher, helping people to step into the power of their own healing. She has turned her attention as a patient advocate and health facilitator in service to the alarmingly high population of people who suffer from stress, chronic pain, and the quest for a life free from suffering.