Reframe Stressful Thoughts for Resilience

We’ve probably all experienced times when our own negative thoughts can suck us into a sinkhole of negative thinking. Maybe a barrage of work requirements, a miscommunication with a family member, or too many commitments activate negative thoughts that take over our thinking. The good news is that with a little awareness and attention, we can turn negative thoughts into positive energy to fuel our growth and well-being.

Why Negativity Drains Us

Hanging out with negative people or surfing negative thoughts creates more than a bad mood. It distracts us from the present moment, drains our energy, and often leaves us feeling anxious and overwhelmed. A while back, I got stuck in ruminating and dwelling on negative thoughts and emotions. Have you noticed that tendency in yourself? For several nights, I woke up judging past mistakes and worrying about the future. My negative thoughts circled in my head on repeat. This pattern continued in the daylight, and I couldn’t see what was happening in the moment. I got out of my ruminating rut when I remembered our power is in the present moment. We can choose our thoughts and choose our focus.

Researchers, as noted in a Mayo Clinic newsletter, continue to explore how positive thinking improves stress management. Benefits of positive thinking include increased lifespan, a lower rate of depression, increased resistance to illness, and a lower risk of death from respiratory disease, cancer, and heart disease. It’s unclear why positivity impacts health. One theory is that a positive outlook provides better coping skills during times of stressful change and opens the door for resilience and creativity to emerge.

Break the Pattern

Here’s a pattern breaker that works for me. Maybe it will help you break out of negative thinking too.

One way to break the cycle of negative thinking is to focus on positive thoughts as you go to sleep. Set up your mind for rest, relaxation, and positivity.

• Keep a gratitude notebook next to your bed. Write three things you’re grateful for every night. Read your list before going to sleep.
• Write a future-self statement and read it out loud before going to sleep. Write a paragraph or a page of your ideal life three years from now. How would you like to feel? Write your statement in present tense using I am statements: I’m so happy and grateful now that…
• Listen to positive statements as you drift off to sleep. Record your voice reading positive affirmations. Or listen to a hypnotherapy session on health, wealth, and relationships.

After a few days of retraining your brain with positivity before going to sleep, notice and celebrate any changes in your thinking during the day.

Reframe Your Thoughts Through a Jazz-Living Approach

Reframing is a technique to shift thinking from a negative to a more neutral viewpoint and allow a creative response to emerge.

We can practice a jazz-living approach to life and borrow principles from improvisational jazz music to help us become more creative, curious, and resourceful like jazz musicians. One jazz principle to apply to life is “There are no mistakes, only interpretations.”.

During an interview, jazz pianist Herbie Hancock shared a lesson about life he learned from an interaction with the great improvisational jazz musician Miles Davis. When Herbie Hancock played the wrong chord on the piano, Miles Davis did not hear a mistake. Instead, Miles paused for a second and played a note that made the mistake sound right. Herbie Hancock learned that through the power of choice, we can take whatever situation we have and make something constructive out of it.

When a note doesn’t land quite as expected, it’s not a failure; it’s an opportunity to explore a new direction. The same goes for our thoughts. When a thought jangles our nerves like a wrong note, we can reframe our interpretation of the situation and choose a new thought.

Here’s a simple reframing process you can try:

• Awareness: Notice your negative thought. “This will not go well.” or “I always mess up during presentations.”
• Acknowledge: Acknowledging does not mean agreement. It means, “I see you!” Instead of ruminating or beating yourself up for having a negative thought, acknowledge it. “I’m noticing that I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”
• Go Neutral: Imagine shifting gears in a car to neutral. Now imagine shifting your thoughts to neutral and observe your thoughts. For example, shift from “She makes me crazy!” to “I have a strong opinion about that thing she is doing.” This takes the edge off and makes space for a more balanced perspective.
• Ask, What’s Right About This? Ask yourself, “What is good about this?” or “What can I learn from this?” Maybe the other person is sharing a new perspective that will help you grow your skills. Maybe feeling nervous about the presentation means you care deeply about your work.
• Focus on Solutions: Instead of focusing on the problem, shift your attention to solutions. “What’s one small step I can take to move forward?”

Make a List of Your Thoughts

Sometimes, it helps to get your thoughts down on paper. Making a list of your thoughts in two columns is a simple but powerful tool to reframe negativity.

• On a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle of the page.
• On the left side, write down any negative thoughts you’re having. Be honest and specific.
• On the right side, write a positive reframe for each negative thought.

Here are some examples:

Negative Thought: “I’m terrible at public speaking.”
Positive Reframe: “I’ve improved with practice, and I can keep learning.”

Negative Thought: “I’ll never finish this project on time.”
Positive Reframe: “I’ve faced challenges before and found solutions.”

Negative Thought: “I’m not good enough for this role.”
Positive Reframe: “I bring unique strengths and perspectives to my work.”

Writing down your thoughts helps you see how your perspective can shift with just a little effort.

Sending Ripples of Positivity Into the Pond of Life

Transforming negativity can make you feel better in the moment as well as create a ripple effect. We often wear many hats: leaders, caregivers, mentors, and more. When we model resilience and positivity, we inspire those around us. We can positively impact our colleagues, families, and future generations.

We can choose to reframe challenges to improve our own well-being and also contribute to a more compassionate, empowered world. Positivity is contagious, and the energy we bring to our work and relationships can uplift entire communities.

When we practice awareness, reframe our thoughts, and focus on solutions, we can transform challenges into opportunities for growth. Before negative thoughts wake you at night, reclaim your power of choice. Seed positive thoughts into your awareness as you drift off to sleep so you have creative thoughts inspiring you in the morning. Like a jazz musician improvising through unexpected notes, you have the power to transform a negative interpretation into a creative solution.

I hope these practical tools and inspiration help you to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and positivity. What are some ways you’ve transformed negativity in your own life? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below!

Resources

The Mayo Clinic Newsletter, Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress 

Interview with Herbie Hancock Miles Davis, according to Herbie Hancock on SaFaJah 

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Leah Skurdal

Leah Skurdal guides people to up-level their stress resilience to improve relationships. Leah shares intuitive insights in private Energy Healing to address the roots of disharmony. As an inspirational speaker and published author, Leah offers lively classes, experiential workshops, and keynotes.