Become the Master of Your Emotions Part 3: Emotional Humans – The Power of Being Who You Already Are
Emotions are part of us, most likely from before birth. Babies in the womb have been found to respond to the emotional mood of their mother. Decades of suppressing these feelings have not eliminated or changed them. They are a part of us; we cannot get rid of them.
A fundamental law of science is the Law of the Conservation of Energy, which says “Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another.”
Emotions (“e-motions”) are energy (“energy-in-motion”). Therefore, we know we can neither create nor destroy them but we can alter them.
What needs to be done to modify emotional patterns?
- First, become aware of them as they arise; you can\’t change something you don\’t know.
- Allow yourself to experience the feelings.
- Identify their message.
- Follow their instructions.
- Identify the lesson your emotions are showing you.
- Finally, turn the feeling loose, releasing its energy so you can move on.
Where to Start?
We all start in different places. One person may constantly be inundated with emotions, unable to shut them off. Another may call us “overly sensitive.” There is no such thing as “too emotional.” Each of us is “just-right emotionally” for ourselves! Become fully aware of what you feel; and end self-judgment, both for having feelings and for their intensity.
Someone else may not recognize his or her own emotions. The Law of Attention says, “Whatever we pay attention to, we feed energy to and tend to become.” This person needs to end judgment about emotions and start feeling them again by recognizing them.
Just stop periodically (every two hours, maybe), and ask: “What feelings am I aware of right now?” Whatever response you get is okay. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers. Keep asking. At first, you may not be aware of anything but if you continue asking you\’ll soon notice one feeling and eventually, all of them!
Allowing the Experience of Emotions
We experience emotions by going to the place they reside—in our body. Whenever you notice one, work to identify where it comes up.
Touch your hand to the spot where you feel it. For most, anger is experienced in the solar plexus (gut), hurt in the (heart) chest area, and fear on the chest, just below the throat. Knowing where you experience particular emotions helps you identify which one is rising up, and can help you pinpoint their “message.”
Long-repressed emotions can be scary. Author R.L. Naquin\’s children\’s book, Monster in My Closet, depicts it best. Because long-held emotions grow in power, they become like “monsters,” living inside of us and waiting for the first possible escape route. Once monsters are out in the open, they are no longer scary. That\’s also true for feelings. (If this is frightening or very difficult for you, please contact a counselor or psychotherapist for help.)
Identifying an Emotion’s Message
Each emotion exhibits a slightly different energy and brings us messages helping us figure out how to navigate our lives, every one offering a different message. Love says, “Come closer.” Fear says, “watch out; be careful.” Loneliness says, “you have more energy leaving you than coming in. Re-balance!” Identifying these messages and working with them is the “way out” of difficult emotional situations.
Utilizing an Emotion’s Message
Once you know the message, take action! Whatever your feeling tells you, pay attention; take action.
Identifying the Lesson of an Emotional Experience
We\’re all in school here on the earth. Our experiences (including the emotional ones) show us what we need to learn. Start asking yourself: “What could I possibly be trying to teach myself?” Keep asking; keep listening. When you hear the answer, work with it.
Release, Release, Release
Now that you have allowed yourself to recognize and identify the feelings that arise within you, where they are felt in your body, have identified their message or lesson and taken action, it\’s time to turn them loose. You no longer need them. Let them go.
After a short rest, look up to where you want to go next! Emotions are designed to help us, every moment of every day. Treasure their gift. Embrace them; work with them; be grateful for them.
Enjoy your Mastery!
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Ilene Dillon, MSW, has dedicated her life to helping people resolve personal challenges once and for all, then design life to be what they want it to be. A Transformation Specialist, she has worked 50 years as a psychotherapist and 15 years as a coach. She is a global speaker, Amazon International Best-selling author (The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care, Volumes 1 and 2), podcast guest, and plans to give her first TEDx speech (on Anger) later this year. Ilene is also the author of Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System and End Manipulation: Stop Being Jerked Around by Toxic, Energy-draining People. With her little dog, Pi, Ilene lives and travels full-time throughout North America in her RV, writing, teaching, and speaking along the way.