“When did my fear begin?” “What kind of help did I get with my fear?” “How did my parents handle their fear?” “What was I told about fear? Everybody has fear, don’t be afraid, just keep going—be brave, get over it!” “Why don’t I know how to get rid of fear? Can I get rid […]
Let’s Explore Fear: The Perils of Focusing on “The Problem” Read More »
When I offered to write some blogs for the Wellness Universe, my offer was immediately accepted. “We’d love it if you would write something about Fear,” was the response, “something about how to deal with the different types of fear.” By now, I’m a recognized expert on emotions—what they are, why we have them, what
How Fear Began: What Fear Is Now Read More »
It was mid-October of 2025. In about one month, I’d turn 83 years old, still involved in my life–happy to be in it, and being relevant to my world. Stepping out of my RV (my home) one day, I felt something in the back of my leg tear. It felt like something in my leg
Learning Never Ceases: Life Is About Learning! Read More »
For years, I’ve felt pain when I read most statements about working with emotions, “mental health,” and dealing with life’s challenges. The cause of my pain is that based on what I’ve learned, lived and practiced with others (as a psychotherapist and marriage and family counselor), what is usually recommended requires too much work, mostly
Resolving, Not Coping: Notes For Developing the Mental Health You Desire! Read More »
This is our last WU Blog on Ending Manipulation. Because it’s not a good idea to keep giving our energy to someone with whom we feel upset or angry, or by whom we’re being manipulated, here’s a wonderful tool to preserve your energy: The Closed-Door Exercise. “The Closed-Door Exercise is a simple yet powerful process
You’re An Energy Being—Protect Your Energy! Read More »
We’ve spent a lot of time describing what I call “Lifestyle Manipulators.” But what are adults like when they end their manipulative behaviors? “Welcome to the world of non-manipulation. It is populated with mature, assertive people. Let’s talk about and experience within yourself and others. Let’s look at what you can expect to experience within
Ending Manipulation: Characteristics of Assertive, Mature People Read More »
In all my years of working as a psychotherapist, I’ve never read or heard about the issue of self-manipulation. I think that often when we become angry with ourselves, we’re really responding to having manipulated our own self into doing something we don’t really want to do! I include the entire chapter here, so you
Is it Possible to Manipulate Ourselves? Read More »
Manipulation is either passive or aggressive—the threat of taking something (like love or a relationship) away, or the promise of doing something that affects us negatively. Take time to identify the manipulation you experience. Are okay with these things happening? If not, identify what you’d like to experience instead. How can you create that for
Stepping Out of Manipulation Read More »
A few more characteristics of Lifestyle Manipulators are particularly important: they help us understand how to exert enough power to get out of manipulative situations. Keep in mind: The Lifestyle Manipulator is only as powerful as a 3–4-year-old child, or as powerful as we allow! More from Chapter Six “Believe in Action Only” “Because the
Ending Manipulation: Who Can Actually Have Power with Manipulators? Read More »
In the last installment, we introduced characteristics of what I call “Lifestyle Manipulators,” people who use manipulation as their primary interactional mode. Do you recognize when you’re being manipulated? There are expectable patterns of action and behavior performed by all Lifestyle Manipulators. Knowing them enables us to take quicker action in removing ourselves from manipulative
Ending Manipulation: Recognizing Lifestyle Manipulators – Part 2 Read More »
