Whether you’re talking to a spouse, a partner, a child, a supervisor, or a friend, communication is the key to a successful relationship.
But there’s so much more to conversation than the words you speak. Your tone, your inflection, and your body language all play a role. Possibly the most important, though, is the intention behind your words.
While speaking with positive, kind intentions is not always easy, it can be with a little self-awareness and little more practice. What a difference it makes in every relationship across every part of your life when you speak from your heart to someone else’s. Shared below are a few ways to speak to someone so they feel appreciated and heard without sacrificing your feelings.
Here Are 10 Ways to Speak to Someone’s Heart.
1. Come from a place of service
With every word you speak, strive to make someone’s life easier, calmer, or less stressful. When you position yourself as a helpful, reliable, positive being, people will respect you more and naturally feel more open and accepting of all you have to offer.
2. You, not me
Instead of talking about yourself and how you are feeling, take a few extra moments to listen and comprehend how the other person is feeling. What emotions are they working through? What has happened in their day to alter their mood?
3. Recognize pain points
Know that what happened to someone five minutes, five hours, or five days ago may still be on their mind. Never judge someone’s mood or inflection based on what you “think” they are saying. Recognize their pain points and show compassion.
4. Compassion, not correction
We all get a little self-conscious or defensive when we find out we’re wrong. No one likes to be judged. Instead of harshly correcting, take a patient compassionate stance. While some moments are teaching moments, others are better left alone. Learn the difference between the two.
5. Don’t take it personally
Life is full of unfair actions. We are not recognized for everything we work toward and accomplish. We are taken advantage of and asked to do things outside of our time limitations. More often than not, the people asking for your talents, demanding your time, and overlooking your accomplishments do not see the effect it has on your life. Remain calm. Try not to take it personally. Know that the positivity you are putting out into the world will be recognized and rewarded in time.
We are all learning new things every day. Even our superiors, grandparents, and others in a place of authority. Be patient as others work through their life lessons and jump their own hurdles. You would want the same for yourself.
7. Show appreciation
Every accomplishment large and small can be recognized. Start each day with appreciation for others and gratitude for what you have. Give compliments freely and say thank you for the little things.
8. Offer to learn together
If you find someone who is feeling stuck, offer to learn with them. Learn a new skill, talk to someone they’ve never talked to before, and ask questions they’ve never thought of asking. We each need someone to hold our hand now and again and offering to be that person could make all the difference in someone’s world.
9. Recognize accomplishments
Every single one of us is working toward something in life. Some dreams seem larger than others, but every step is valuable and important. Recognizing someone for their steps – no matter how small – can make a huge difference in that person’s sense of personal value and accomplishment and could be the tiny bit of motivation they need to keep moving forward.
10. Know that there’s more to life
Understanding and keeping an open mind through every form of communication is really the consistent theme. Knowing there is much more to life than the one instance you are facing at the moment can be very comforting. If you’re speaking with someone who seems a little on edge, frustrated, or more excited than normal, there’s a good chance something else in their life is influencing their emotions AND how they are communicating with you.
How many times have you been frustrated with one person and taken it out on someone else? Have you ever been distracted by a family vacation or a project at work and let that get in the way of another responsibility? Sick family members, aging parents, promotions or layoffs, or simply not sleeping well the night before – hundreds of life events impact how we communicate. Remaining compassionate to the fact that everyone has more to their lives than you see goes a long way in forming a successful communication relationship.
Speaking to someone’s heart means so much more than patience and compassion.
Truly seeing someone for the good they are trying to accomplish and recognizing them for the positivity you see not only helps build your own relationship but also has a ripple effect. An effect of love and patience that will reach farther than you’ll ever know.
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*Post originally published on June 7, 2019
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