We want to get it right.
We want to show up in this life and feel that we did it right. Whatever that “right” is for you.
I know for me, I always imagined that life would be like a movie. While there are challenges each main character goes through, somehow, at the end they seemed to have figured it out. All of the pieces come together, and they live happily ever after, getting to live the life they’ve always wanted.
Hold up there, fairy-tale girl.
Now, there are truths in that. Things do eventually clear up. Things do come together and make sense and yes, the possibility of living happily ever after does exist for us all. So, what’s holding us back then, you might be asking yourself. YOU.
You hold the responsibility for how all of that looks. You and me. Yes, that’s a lot of responsibility to put on ourselves and while that might seem scary, it’s pretty awesome news because that means we do not have to rely on ‘life’ to be perfect, on others to show up the way we wish them to, and for circumstances to line up exactly as we imagined. We get to choose to still believe in happily-ever-afters, and we get to choose to learn lessons from everything that happens to us. We get to choose to still love every moment that hurts, every moment that makes us uncomfortable, every moment that lifts us, and every moment that surprises and delights us.
We get to choose to love them all and honor them all.
I didn’t always understand this. How could I love what didn’t seem right? That’s not how my life was supposed to play out. Looking through the eyes of a narrow lens (and directors vision), as a young girl sitting in a theater, I believed that life would line up in a way that always works out and I got really disappointed for many years when I seemed to be stuck in the ‘dark cloud’ and ‘poor me’ phase. I kept waiting for that turning point in my life where the guy realized he really did love me and couldn’t live without me, would then come back and do some grand gesture to win me back. But that didn’t happen. My life didn’t resemble anything like a movie.
Until I created it.
When I finally decided to stop focusing on all the ways things seemed to not be going right for me, I cleared up space within myself to begin to create the life I really wanted for myself.
Now, yes, I might be a bit obsessed with movies and I might be guilty of recreating a mix of “Under the Tuscan Sun” meets “Eat, Pray, Love,” and actually took off on my own solo summer adventure to Italy, to find myself and love. And while my adventure didn’t turn out like the end of those movies, what did happen was that I uncovered and discovered parts of myself that had been lying dormant. I understood more of who I was, what I was capable of, all the ways I still wanted to grow, all the things I still wanted to learn, and all the adventures I still wanted to take. I understood for the first time that in order to “get it right,” I first had to give myself permission to not have to DO it right. I had to be okay with the things that showed up in my life even if they didn’t show up perfectly or as I expected them to.
My Italian adventure didn’t show up at all as I had imagined it would, but it showed up exactly as it was supposed to. (Although I could’ve done without my Italian/Brazilian “Octopus Hands,” but that’s another story for another time.)
You get the opportunity each and every day, from the moment you open your beautiful eyes to the moment you close them for the last time, to choose to see the world, yourself, your life, and everyone in it with gratitude, curiosity, joy, and love.
You get to take responsibility for how you show up in the world and all of the love you choose to leave people with. And most importantly, you get to be the one that shows up for you. You get to be the one that creates big, bold (movie-worthy) grand gestures for yourself and doesn’t wait for life to give them to you.
You get to create a life that is made up of happily-ever-after moments.
Because at the end of the day, it’s really all about the beautiful, simple, and ordinary moments strung together, that create your extraordinary life.
So, stop waiting.
Stop being disappointed.
Go live the hell out of your life! Create a life that is Oscar-worthy.