Meet Ilene Dillon, Founder of Emotional Mastery for Life, Emotional Realignment Creator and Master Teacher. In the soon-available book, The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care: 25 Tools for Transformation, Ilene shares her tried and tested Toolkit for reassembling the fragments of our lives into a powerful wholeness.
The Wellness Universe (WU): Hello Ilene, please tell us about yourself and what inspired you to write your chapter in the book The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care: 25 Tools For Transformation.
Ilene Dillon (ID): A lot of my life has been a quest to return to my real, loving self after years of a fragmented and traumatic start in life. That’s been my transformation, and it’s taken me years.
I dealt with over-the-top anger that seemed to have no end, pain about being abandoned, fear of rejection, fear about almost everything (including my survival), loneliness, believing myself to be unlovable, and being faced with manipulation I hadn’t even known was happening. I did get help, but starting in the 1970’s I discovered social science researchers didn’t research “emotions” separately from psychiatric diagnoses. I was unable to answer questions like “What IS anger?” “Why do we have it?” and “What can we do about anger?” I investigated for 10 years, and finally came up with an entire system for living life, and for working with and mastering emotions. These are what I teach and write about.
Now, I’m 82 years old (hard to believe, even when I’m IN this body!), a “Recovered Angry Person, and propelled by my deep desire to share the effective and lasting things I’ve learned. I want to tell everyone that… anger can be mastered… we no longer need to live in fear…loneliness is not about not having enough friends or people in our lives…and how it is I’ve not been plagued with worry, fear, anger, loneliness, depression, guilt and shame for more than 40 years, despite my husband’s death, a cancer diagnosis and recovery, shoulder replacement surgery after a fall, and living alone on the road in my RV for the past 8 years.
As a psychotherapist, I’ve helped myself and thousands of others accomplish these things over the past half-century. I’ve verified that their learning about emotions was still in place 40 years after they learned it. If you’re ready, I want YOU to integrate this information into your life, too!
WU: What tool do you share in this book, and what can we expect to experience as a result of using this tool?
ID: I’ve shared a “Toolkit” filled with master self-repair tools I assembled over the years. Too many of us have never heard about the power of Focus, of “Facing Fact,” of Mastering Fear, of engaging in Positive Self-Talk, what the 7 Pillars of Self-Esteem are and how to incorporate them into your everyday life, about the Giant School in which we live, and the power of both Gratitude and Embracing Love. When you incorporate these into your life, you will no longer recognize yourself and your life will flow, be calmer, and become what you want it to be, regardless of whatever challenges or trauma you’ve experienced.
WU: How did you come to be in this profession, and what drove you in this direction?
ID: Well, allow me to share a story with you. “You should be a psychotherapist!” Zonette Rossi, a retired nurse who read auras and told people about their past lives, was standing over me, shaking her 80-something finger in my face. Naked, I was trapped inside a converted 50-gallon drum she used as a steam bath, something I had willingly done to obtain a reading from Zonette.
“But, but, but…..” I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. At last, she took a breath. “But I AM a psychotherapist!” Without skipping a beat, she responded: “Good! You’re one of the few people on the face of the earth who is doing what you’re supposed to be doing!”
I was stunned. Elated. I had changed majors five times in college. I finished my master’s degree in Social Work after my husband left our marriage, leaving me with the lion’s share of child rearing and financial support for our toddler child.
“Oh! What I’m doing with my life is what I’m supposed to be doing!” I acknowledged it later. Happily, I felt, throughout my body and brain, that this was right for me.
That was 1972….53 years ago.
There was also another story. When I was 16, my older sister asked me: “What do you think you’re going to do in your life?”
“I think I’m going to write,” I answered immediately.
“What about?” she quizzed.
“Life. But I have to live some of it first.” I didn’t know where this came from, but it came out immediately, with little thought. Just a knowing.
Now, I’ve been privileged to do both. It turns out what I would write about was all that I learned while working as a psychotherapist—and dealing with the emotions I experienced (overwhelming!) when my marriage ended and I found myself left with nearly-overwhelming challenges.
In my quest to deal with over-the-top anger that seemed to have no end, pain about being abandoned, fear of rejection, fear about almost everything (including my survival), loneliness, believing myself to be unlovable, and being faced with manipulation I hadn’t even known was happening, I came up with an entire system for living life, for working with and mastering emotions, and for parenting my child consciously. These are what I teach and write about.
Now, I’m 82 years old (hard to believe, even when I’m IN this body!), propelled by a deep desire to share the amazing, effective and lasting things I’ve learned in the time I have left on the earth.
I want to tell everyone that anger can be mastered, that we no longer need to live in fear (and what to do instead), that we’re working too hard to parent our children, that loneliness is not about not having enough friends or people in our lives—it’s about what we do with our own energy. I want to share how it is that I’ve not been plagued with worry, fear, anger, loneliness, depression, guilt and shame for more than 40 years, despite my husband’s death, a cancer diagnosis and recovery, shoulder replacement surgery after a fall, and living alone on the road in my RV for the past 8 years.
As a psychotherapist, I’ve helped thousands of others accomplish these things over the past half-century. Including me: I call myself a “Recovered Angry Person”! I’ve had people return for “checkups” during COVID, some of whom had worked with me 40 years before. And they didn’t need to work on anger issues anymore—that was handled all those years ago. What I’ve learned works, and lasts. If you’re ready, I want YOU to integrate this information into your life, too!
I came to this world to BE a psychotherapist. I also came here to BE a writer.
I’m the author of “Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System” on Amazon. I’m a 7-time national/international Best-selling author, participating in collaborative books like “The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care.” I have chapters in Volumes 1, 2, 3, 5, and soon-to-be 6 (Anna Pereira). Volume 2 of “Women Connected in Wisdom,” “Gifts of Wisdom: Practices for Healing and Empowerment” (David McLeod), and “I Didn’t Become Selfish, I Became Harder to Manipulate” (Sara Jane). A series of 7 manuals, helping parents to help their children with emotions (“Exploring Anger with Your Child”) was published by Enchante in 1994.
I’m also an International Professional Speaker (27 years) and a former podcast originator and host (15 years). These activities have provided the tools I need to do the job of “spreading the word” of all I’ve been privileged to learn and practice.
I’m weaning myself of being a Solopreneur, learning to crow about my work and accomplishments, and discovering how to develop a team to help me publish and distribute my publications, create and off my courses (I’m currently working on a book and course on this topic: “Anger Mastery for Conscious Parents,” and another on “Outgrowing Manipulation.” ) I maintain a small private practice on Zoom (I love this work, integrating spiritual principle with psychology and practicality).
Until we meet!
WU: Is it really possible to END struggles with emotions like anger, depression, and low self-esteem—and if so, how does that happen?
ID: I’ve learned that not only is it possible to end those struggles, but doing so (and accomplishing that end) is a main goal and ability for our life on earth. We cannot “get rid of” emotions, but we CAN reduce emotions to a much smaller influence on our lives, stop repeating and negative patterns, and co-create lives we really want to live. Showing and supporting people to do this is the absolute focus of my life.
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What an inspiring and empowering interview, Ilene! I love how she so openly shares her journey from deep pain and anger to a life of emotional mastery and calm — proof that lasting transformation is possible at any age. Ilene is my she-ro!