Many people, when faced with divorce or a breakup tell themselves that love made them do stupid things. Love gets a bad rap when people say things like, “Love is blind.”
I’ve heard it said that love is intelligent.
My question to you is this, is it love that makes us do stupid things, stumble around without seeing, and make rash decisions that we regret later? Is it really love, or something else masquerading as love? Is Love really blind or does it see clearly and tell you upfront when other emotions are blinding your sight?
One of my clients shared a story with me about how, on her wedding day – as she was getting ready to head down the aisle – her gut feeling was to get out of there, to run away from this mistake she was making. She ignored the feeling and proceeded anyway to marry. She talked about what led her to make that decision that caused her many years of distress and unhappiness, not only for her, but for her children and family. She knew she was making a mistake and did it anyway. What she learned, in our coaching, was that it was not love that guided her decision, but fear. Fear of standing up for herself and causing a scene, fear of upsetting her fiancé and his family, etc. She remarked that she never forgot how she had abandoned herself and her inner knowing because of fear. She knew it was not love that was leading her down the aisle, but fear.
It took her many years to recognize that the voice that said “Run” to her was the voice of Love.
That’s the problem when we are bombarded with so many voices at once in our heads, “Do this!, Don’t do this!” especially when we are called to make a split decision that will chart the course of our lives.
Can you relate? Have you come up with a way of discerning which is the voice of Love and which is the voice of Fear?
The voice of love speaks loudest in your body – your heart and your gut will tell you the truth about a situation very quickly. Fear can do that too, which makes this so confusing.
In those situations, it’s wise to pause and take some time in stillness to start asking the voice some questions.
- Who are you?
- What do you want me to know?
- What am I not seeing that you are trying to show me?
If you identify that it is Love speaking, ask this, “Where are you leading me? What action am I to take?” You’ll know when you receive the answer – it will draw you towards love rather than having you avoid something you are afraid of.
In our story, if our heroine had stopped to ask that voice these questions – it might have gone like this:
I’m the voice of Love. I want you to know that you will not be happy with this man. You are ignoring the signs that have been showing you this all along. You must choose yourself first and walk away. It doesn’t matter what others think. Just go. There is something out there for you that is better than this. Trust me.
How do I know this? We had a dialogue together with the voice of Love, and that is what she heard. She wept for herself, for that young girl who didn’t understand, who made the mistake of following the voice of fear instead of the voice of Love.
This practice of listening for the voice of Love serves us in many ways – both practical and spiritual. Cultivating a loving environment inside ourselves creates a loving environment in our outer lives too. When we are listening to and following the intelligence of Love, we are plugging into a bigger purpose – being a presence of Love during times of conflict is a gift we can give to mankind.
What might our world look like if everyone stopped to listen to the voice of Love before acting? Perhaps war, poverty, and cruelty would finally cease and we’d all be in the business of loving each other in all ways.
Do you have a similar situation going on in your life? A decision to make, a difficult conversation that needs to be had, a situation you are dealing with that stretches you way past your comfort zone? If so, what might be possible for you if you tap into that bigger Love – that is intelligent – and let it lead you?
Reach out to me if you would like to have a conversation about how to let Love lead you in your life.
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Carrie Doubts is a Transformational Coach specializing in supporting people through life transitions. Her 9-step Program, Rebuilding Your Life After Loss, helps people to reconnect with their heart, reclaim their power, and re-align with their purpose to create their life’s next chapter.