3 Ways to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Stop People-Pleasing to Improve Your Health

Each of us wants to feel accepted and liked. We want to be recognized for our hard work and thought of as kind and helpful in our communities and among friends. But if you’re a people pleaser, you have most likely picked up some habits that are slowly eating away at your confidence and your self-worth.

How Do You Know If You’re A People Pleaser?

  • You’re more motivated to complete tasks when someone else is holding you accountable
  • You avoid confrontation because you don’t want someone to be mad at you
  • You avoid giving yourself credit for things
  • You pretend to agree with everyone
  • You apologize often

If these descriptions sound like you, then you are most likely a people pleaser.

It’s entirely too self-defeating to go through life feeling like your ideas are not as important as someone else’s. Not only are you causing yourself additional emotional stress by worrying if others are “happy enough,” but you’re failing to give yourself enough credit for your own thoughts, wants, and desires in life.

Worried you’ll come across as unkind, stubborn, or abrasive? If your heart is in the right place, you have nothing to worry about. It is impossible to please all of the people all of the time and that’s okay. Understanding that you cannot control other people’s thoughts is a big step in the right direction to a greater sense of self-appreciation.

Remember, someone else’s thoughts and desires do not require a change in your own beliefs or item on your to-do list. Shared below are a few things you can do to start living for yourself.

Here Are 3 Ways to Stop Being A People Pleaser:

  1. Say No to One Thing You Don’t Want to Do

If you’re like many people-pleasers out there, you’re overcommitted because you have a hard time saying “no.” It’s liberating to get some free time back for no other reason than the fact that you can. Next time someone asks you to do something for them, respond politely by saying,

“Thank you for thinking of me. Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” If it’s not something you want to add to your schedule, it’s okay to say, no.

  1. Ask Thought-Provoking Questions

Ask thought-provoking questions to instigate conversation instead of conflict when you don’t agree with someone. Agreeing with everyone does not accomplish anything. Know that you have valuable opinions, and your questions will most likely spawn new ideas that others had not previously thought of. If you’re at work, for example, consider asking, “Have you considered doing it this way?” or “If we try thing A instead of thing B, what do you see as the outcome?”

Conversation breeds creativity.

  1. Try A New Hobby

Making a decision to do an activity on your own, at a time and location you choose without any outside input is a great first step in building confidence in your decision-making abilities. Take yourself to a movie. Try a new restaurant. Go to a new store.

If you try to be all things to all people, you will never reach your goals in life.

You have them, I know you do! It’s time to embrace what makes you unique and stop worrying about what others think. When you focus on the things that make you happy in this world, you will meet people who are like you. You will surround yourself with others who have similar values and build yourself up for the person you are truly meant to be on the inside.

After reading this article, what is one decision you are going to make and stick to today, for yourself, no matter what other people think?

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*Previously published on November 14, 2018.

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