My daughter, Daisy, was three and showed interest in making her lunch for school. We decided to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich together.
Placing a chair next to the counter, I put her on it and put a new jar of peanut butter and the jelly on the counter. Then I realized we had no bread in the kitchen. A new loaf was in our outside refrigerator, about 12 steps away on our front screened porch.
Telling her not to move or get off the chair, I ran to the refrigerator, grabbed the bread, and returned to find her off the chair. She was standing on our hard tile floor, sobbing over the broken jar of peanut butter, repeating “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” in her sweet little girl voice.
I dropped to my knees, placed my hand on her upper chest (our fear center), and in my kindest voice, I asked: “Who’s more important, Daisy or peanut butter?” No answer. Just “I’m sorry.” “Who’s more important, Daisy or peanut butter?” I asked this single question until she stopped and said quizzically “peanut butter?”
We lived on the side of a suburban hill near San Francisco, California. The store was a 10-minute drive down a winding, narrow street. We seldom shopped.
“Think about this,” I implored her. “Can we get another jar of peanut butter?” She shook her little head “no.” “Can we get in the car and go to the store and get another jar of peanut butter,” I pursued. This time her head nodded affirmatively.
“Where can we go to get another Daisy?” I asked next. She shrugged her shoulders with an “I don’t know.”
“I don’t know where to get another Daisy, either! In fact, In all the world, there is only one person just like you. We cannot get another Daisy, because you are the only YOU there ever will be!”
She was snuffling. I asked, “Who’s more important, Daisy or peanut butter?”
“Me!”
“Right! People are more important than things! We can always get more peanut butter, but there is only one Daisy. You’re more important because you’re the only YOU in all of time!”
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What’s perfect about you and each one of us is that you are the only YOU there is or ever will be!
The area of the body people most have difficulty accepting regardless of gender is the chest. Small-breasted as a young woman, I felt ashamed and hid what little I had. One day I came across this idea: Each person has been created with a body that is “just right” for them! That day I realized big breasts would get in the way of the running, jumping, and athleticism I so loved. I was so grateful not to have large breasts!
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What’s perfect about you and each one of us is that who you’ve co-created yourself to be is exactly right for you!
A very spiritual friend of mine once cautioned me and my group of friends never to compare ourselves to others.
Why?
Any comparison you make is an incomplete comparison, and thus, is inaccurate. An accurate comparison requires that we compare everything. True comparisons require every detail of your life must be the same as every detail of the other person’s life. That’s impossible!
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What’s perfect about you and each one of us is that nobody can ever compare to us!
My husband, Bob, was ill five years before he died from complications of cancer. After he died, I planned to sit in our house in Northern California for at least a year so I could heal. That plan was short-lived.
Instead, I decided to be in support of our daughter, who had lived in Ecuador for 10 years, heading up a nonprofit group’s Maternal Health Program for indigenous families. She would soon return to the US for graduate school. Neither of us had seen her doing this work. Three months after his death, I traveled to Ecuador. Ecuador was just right for me. The gentle feeling of Ecuador’s heart healed my own heart.
Returning, I discovered the advantages of selling our home and living less expensively. It took me 10 months to sort through all our possessions, after which I closed down my brick-and-mortar business, ended my 13-year radio program, sold the house, and moved into my 24-foot RV! I was 74.
I had concluded there was still a lot of life in me. It doesn’t work in life if you sit down and quit!
I determined what was important for me and went for it.
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What’s perfect about you and each one of us is that we each have a Purpose and can live it!
As my husband wrestled with cancer, I took an intensive course in spiritual development. I learned that I’d been channeling from my Higher Self for years in my psychotherapy practice. I discovered I could more deliberately and fully connect with my Higher Self, basing my life on the principle of Love. Additionally, my years’ long quest to discover how to master emotions came into full bloom. I was no longer ruled by emotions, not anger, fear, loneliness, worry, guilt, shame, or depression. Emotions were still with me, but the demitasse version, not the max size! (For more information, see my book, Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System, on www.emotionalmasteryforlife.com.)
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What’s perfect about you and each one of us is that we are connected to “that which is larger than us.”
We can remember who we really are, amazing, knowing, wise, loving, kind, and purposeful beings.
The more I allow myself to be who I know myself to be and to do what my heart tells me to do, the better my life works. Yours will, too.
We’re all spiritual beings wearing human bodies! Magnificence is ours. It’s the humble, accepting, and grateful magnificence that recognizes the beauty of the system and energy of which we are an integral part!
– Ilene
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Ilene Dillon, MSW, has dedicated her life to helping people resolve personal challenges once and for all, then design life to be what they want it to be. A Transformation Specialist, she has worked 50 years as a psychotherapist and 15 years as a coach. She is a global speaker, Amazon International Best-selling author (The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care, Volumes 1 and 2), podcast guest, and plans to give her first TEDx speech (on Anger) later this year. Ilene is also the author of Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System and End Manipulation: Stop Being Jerked Around by Toxic, Energy-draining People. With her little dog, Pi, Ilene lives and travels full-time throughout North America in her RV, writing, teaching, and speaking along the way.
