Whether it’s a natural disaster, community tragedy, election season stress, or a multitude of other events, we all face tough times in our lives.
While these events sometimes happen to an entire community, they often happen to just one person or just one family leaving them to think, how will we ever get back to “normal?” The amazing thing is that with every tragedy, no matter how small, it doesn’t take long to see the community step in and help.
In fact, it’s incredibly uplifting to watch communities come together in times like these. The outpouring of support and compassion and selflessness truly tugs at the heartstrings. Standing on the outside it’s easy to feel that pull to jump in and help in any way possible.
But what happens when you’re on the inside? When you are the one dealing with the loss, the pain, or the suffering? How do you learn to let people in? There are a few important things to keep in mind.
People Want to Help:
The first thing to know is that people want to help. You are not inconveniencing anyone. You are not “putting anyone out.” And you are definitely not going to be indebted to anyone. While pride might keep you from asking for help, it shouldn’t keep you from accepting help when it shows up.
What Used to be Easy, Now Seems Difficult:
It’s surprising what daily tasks suddenly seem most difficult when your world is turned upside down. Having extra people around to help get the kids to and from school and other activities, or taking you to and from work, can be a big help. Accepting basic needs of shelter, food, and clothing goes a long way.
Normal Life is Tough:
We can’t do it all by ourselves on a normal day, why would anyone expect us to do it all alone with the added stress, time, and unknowns that come along with tragedy? The easy answer is, they don’t. Accept help when it’s offered. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You don’t have expectations to uphold.
Don’t Play the Comparison Game:
Your tragedy is no less than anyone else’s tragedy. Try not to compare your situation to the situations of others. The same goes for yourself, your family, and your feelings. You have the right to deal with your loss, pain, and suffering in any way you need in order to heal.
Your feelings are never wrong, and you should never feel like your hardship is less than anyone else’s. The best thing to do is confront your feelings, acknowledge them and accept that you will be able to move on.
It’s unfortunate how many of us encounter tragedy and loss each year. Find someone to talk to, let your community in, and accept help when it’s offered. It may not feel like it in the beginning, but time will heal your pain.
When you let others help, you are more likely to find:
- Some mental space to relax.
- More quiet time to sleep and recover.
- People to talk to when you’re ready.
- Distractions to get through the tough days.
We’ve all been there to help someone else in their time of need. If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of now needing support and help, please don’t go it alone.
Your community is there waiting to step in.
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