Emotional Mastery: Key to Changing Your World!

Fifty years ago, a major problem was brought to my attention through a single, shocking experience.

My husband, who had consciously conceived our infant with me, came home one day to announce “I’m not ready to be a father. I’m leaving you.”

While this situation is enough to cause anyone to feel angry, I was not prepared for the overwhelming cascades of anger that poured out of me and onto my little child. It was overwhelming. My father poured anger onto me during my childhood. I couldn’t stand to see I was behaving the same way. I felt helpless.

Desperate for answers, I sought them everywhere. I was licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist. I returned to the library of my university, seeking to find out what anger was all about. What causes it? What can I do to stop it from cascading onto my child? Why do we have anger anyway?

There were no answers! Our understanding of emotions is rudimentary, even today. Back then even social science researchers didn’t look at anger or fear separately from the psychological diagnoses of which they were a part. Schizophrenics experienced anger and fear, but nobody was looking at those emotions separately!

If I were going to get free of anger, I would have to find answers on my own.

Having a devastating experience that turns our world upside down is one of the major ways “the Universe” gets our attention. Our pain is so great it draws our focus. We get determined to change something so we can escape the pain.

That pain continues, even grows, unless and until we learn the lesson. I’ve come to call this our “Giant School.” Every one of us is on the earth, the “Giant School,” so we can experience, explore, learn, and grow. Experiences present our lessons. When we don’t learn a particular lesson, it repeats and repeats, each time accompanied by increasingly intense pain. When we do learn that lesson, we are immediately finished and free to move on.

Emotions arise with every Experience. Why? What are they for?

I discovered emotions are part of the entire learning system that operates here in our Giant School. It’s an amazing system designed to help us navigate our lives. Emotions give us the information we need about what we must learn or change so we learn the lessons of our experiences and end the pain.

The pain I experienced that fateful day 50 years ago, along with the cascades of anger it released, has been the greatest gift of my life! That pain was so powerful I had to keep paying attention to it. I was able to slowly understand how to work with anger, so it took its proper place in my life. In the 1970s, I was an Angry Person. I cursed like a sailor, got upset by almost everything, exploded about small things, and felt totally unable to calm the anger I felt. Anger was out of control in me.

Today, I am a Recovered Angry Person. I curse very little. Nothing really upsets me. I haven’t exploded in anger for more than 15 years. People note how calm I am and how calming I am to be around! When unexpected or frustrating things occur, as they do for all of us, I patiently work my way through. I also ask for help from “the Universe,” since that’s what I perceive is bringing that lesson!

Anger, and all emotions, is energy. The Laws that govern energy tell us we can neither create nor destroy it. We’ll always have emotions come up in us. What I have learned is that I am the one who decides what happens when an emotion arises. There is no emotion that can totally take me over without my permission. If I experience anger, I can choose to explode or I can laugh! Emotions are part of my life to help me, not tyrannize me!

My life purpose, which I am focused on living for the rest of my time here, is to learn about and share with others the simple, practical, commonsense way of mastering emotions I have been privileged to discover. It’s a system for Mastering Emotions! I’m busy making lemonade out of lemons!

During Covid, I’ve had former psychotherapy clients, from as long ago as 45 years, look me up, asking for a “check-in.” Since we last met, their lives have been going very well. They have been catching me up on what they discovered working with me that has helped over the ensuing years. Here’s the verdict: What I teach regarding mastering emotions works. And it lasts, continuing to work over the long haul.

Time for a SoulTreat Retreat!

The Wellness Universe SoulTreat retreat in October 2021 is the most perfect place for me to share my Life Purpose! I’ve discovered there are lots of people focused on learning about emotions these days. I’ve also noticed that my focus on practical and commonsense ways of working with emotions is different. My solutions are simple, non-mental, applicable in everyday life, and they work!

Wellness Universe members and guests who join us for meetings are already addressing emotions. They are spiritually oriented. (And we are in the process of rejoining our everyday material selves with our energy selves, which is what this approach to emotions facilitates.) What may still be missing are some pieces, and an overall system for understanding and working with emotions that we can all agree upon. I’m excited to be able to share this with you!

My book, Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System, was published in 2019 on Amazon. I’m currently preparing my TEDx talk on Mastering Anger to Change Your World, to be presented later this year. Please join me at Soul Treat in Boone, NC and help me reach my personal and world purpose. Simultaneously, advance your own Purpose. Together, we’ll transform our world!

Connect with Ilene Dillon on The Wellness Universe and walk away feeling better!


All information, content, and material is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a qualified physician or healthcare provider. The information supplied through or on this page, or by any representative or agent of The Wellness Universe, is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Health-related information provided through this website is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems or to prescribe any medical devices or other remedies. The Wellness Universe reserves the right to remove, edit, move or close any content item for any reason, including, but not limited to, comments that are in violation of the laws and regulations formed pursuant to the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. None of the posts and articles on The Wellness Universe page may be reprinted without express written permission.


An Amazon #1 Best Seller! The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care 25 Tools to Achieve Anything is the book that just might change everything for you. It’s like having 25 expert coaches rolled into one, each teaching you a practice or tool to help you achieve your goals. You’ll find techniques for mind, body, spirit, and soul. You’ll enjoy a multitude of topics and modalities that will assist with better sleep, spiritual magnificence, mindset mastery, enhanced intuition, balanced nutrition, and peak performance in every area of your life. 

GRAB YOUR COPY NOW!

Both e-Book & Paperback are available.


Complementary Journal - The Wellness Universe Self-Care Book Series

The Wellness Universe Complete Self-Care Notes & Companion Journals are here to support your self-care journey!

Enjoy a complimentary notes journal for each book The Wellness Universe has published. All books are available on Amazon in our Self-Care series.


The Wellness Universe is here to serve your best well-being. If you are experiencing anxiety, grief, overwhelm, guilt, anger, or seeking ways to cope and get help for stress, relationships, parenting, or any other issue during this challenging time, we have wonderful resources for you to connect with. Our WU Best Help members are offering reduced rates, sliding scale payment options, and even pro-bono sessions.
WU Best Help


The Wellness Universe invites you to SoulTreat Wellness Retreat for Mind, Body, and Spirit. Imagine yourself and your friends in the picturesque Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina for self-care workshops, talks, and one-on-one experiences with wellness experts from around the globe this October.
Release what no longer serves you. Reset your mind, body, and soul.
www.WUSoulTreat.com