In November of 2020, my friend, John Clopton, died after a long fight with cancer. I knew him for 50 years, from the time in 1971 that we dated for several months. I credit John with profoundly changing my life.
John was like no one I had ever met before. Independently wealthy from childhood, he chose to examine the nature of personal reality and write about it. For as long as I knew him, he was looking at our human relationship with each other (psychology) and with spirit (spirituality), writing books on these subjects. He was brilliant, with an IQ that measured in the genius level.
Our early relationship was a lot over the phone because I was a mother to a very small child and needed to stay close to home. And we lived on opposite sides of the San Francisco Bay, making it challenging to get together. We talked by phone almost every day.
From the beginning, John would tell me things like this: “I had a good day of writing. I got a lot of help from my Guides.” He assured me that whenever he asked his Guides for help, they stepped in and gave him help as he had requested. As a new man friend, I was willing to put up with his oddities. I certainly had never heard a man talk like this before. Hearing it so frequently, I finally felt exasperated and burst out with a question.
“John, are you telling me that you ask people you can’t see for help?”
“Yes. I certainly am,” he responded, bemused.
“John, I can’t ask people I can see for help, much less ask people I can’t see! How do you do that?”
“It’s easy,” he assured me. “I just say, ‘This is what I want to do and what I need help with. If it is right for me, please help me or help me go where I want to go.’ Try it, Ilene. Guides always respond!”
I barely understood what Guides were, much less having the faith to believe I could ask them for help and receive it.
All the other questions, such as “why would they want to help me?” or “my needs are small compared to others, so is it really okay for me to ask?” led me to remain skeptical.
For the time being, I set John’s suggestion aside. But three weeks later, my single-parent life brought me to a time of great challenge. I found myself choked with fear, having difficulty breathing, and worried. “What do I have to lose?” I asked myself. I asked, aloud: “I don’t know if anyone is out there, or who you are, or if you’re here now, but I need help! Please help me!”
The change I experienced occurred before I could take my next breath. I started feeling calmer, breathing more deeply, feeling my body relax. My friend, John, was right. All I had to do was ask.
From then on, I asked, more and more easily, and more frequently. As John had promised, I always got a response. There was the time I was spinning out of control, on my back, over the icy top of Mt. Bachelor in Oregon, where I had taken my kids skiing. I asked for help, and instead of cracking my head on the big boulders I was approaching, I slid around them and into softer snow, with only a minor injury. There were many times when money was short and I would ask for help, later finding money on the ground, getting a new client, or receiving an unexpected refund. And whenever I was worried, up at night trying to figure things out, I asked for help sleeping and got it immediately.
Since that time, I’ve learned more. Such as this “Law,” help that isn’t asked for, never works.
It turns out it’s a Law of the Universe.
Assuming we have Guides or other helpers, they can’t help us unless we ask for help!
One of the reasons we don’t get help from the Universe is that we don’t ask for it. It’s vital to realize that just as in a marriage, we are in a Partnership with the Universe! In a partnership, each partner must do his or her part. Our part is to ask for help! We need to do our part. The whole idea of partnership involves equality. Both “sides” are responsible and capable!
As a sociology student, I learned about a group of Pacific Islanders whose culture was based on dreams. Daily, when people awoke, they spent time discussing their dreams. Like the Shuar and Achuar people of the Amazon jungle in South America, the dream life could be more important (or equally important) than everyday life. Often, dreamers encountered difficult situations, such as being threatened or chased. Children who had such dreams were advised to immediately ask for help. They were then instructed to keep dealing with the situation themselves until their “Dream Friend” arrived to help.
When we ask the Universe for help, it’s vital to remember to keep moving forward with our life, expecting help to arrive, but taking care of our situation ourselves, until that help arrives.
Keep this in mind, too, if both “sides” are responsible and capable of dealing with whatever challenges arise, this means:
- You are worthy of being supported and helped.
- It’s easy to get that support and help, Just Ask!
- You are equal in creative ability and wisdom to whatever (or whoever) is helping you.
- When you receive help, your job is to listen for it, then to accept it and let it in.
- Being grateful for what you receive facilitates getting even more help.
Allow the Universe to help you and graciously receive that help. It benefits you, those around you, and the Universe itself.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this series this time next week!
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Ilene Dillon, MSW, has dedicated her life to helping people resolve personal challenges once and for all, then design life to be what they want it to be. A Transformation Specialist, she has worked 50 years as a psychotherapist and 15 years as a coach. She is a global speaker, Amazon International Best-selling author (The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care, Volumes 1 and 2), podcast guest, and plans to give her first TEDx speech (on Anger) later this year. Ilene is also the author of Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System and End Manipulation: Stop Being Jerked Around by Toxic, Energy-draining People. With her little dog, Pi, Ilene lives and travels full-time throughout North America in her RV, writing, teaching, and speaking along the way.