One Simple Rule to Diffuse Disappointment

The leading cause of disappointment and suffering is unrealistic expectations. We impose them on ourselves and others. This one simple rule will dramatically reduce disappointment levels in your life and help you manage expectations of yourself and others.

Unachievable expectations

We have a plethora of common limiting beliefs in our society from believing we’re not good enough to the endless “should” cycle. We do what we think is expected of us (no matter how unrealistic it may be!), accept unachievable expectations from others, and impose unreasonable expectations on ourselves in a twisted attempt to be “good enough.” We do this subconsciously to feel accepted, worthy, appreciated, or to be recognized.

If you want to drastically reduce the level of disappointment and suffering in your life, you need only do one thing, kick those unrealistic expectations to the curb; both those you have on yourself and those you’ve placed on others.

Take a good, honest look at what you expect from yourself

Is your to-do list realistic? Are your boundaries healthy? Do you catch yourself saying “yes” to things automatically then feel resentful afterwards as you reacted out of obligation to comply? Do you love yourself even when you’re not rocking it? Is your sense of responsibility out of whack with what is reasonable? Do you agree to do the unachievable then spiral as you inevitably fail to achieve it?

Now, take an honest look at what you expect from others

Do you expect them to do, think, feel, or respond in the way you would in a given situation? Do you hear yourself saying “well I wouldn’t do that?” If so, you are setting them up to fail and lining yourself up for disappointment. As harsh as it may be, the reality is that others can never, ever meet that expectation because they are simply not you. They don’t have your priorities, your perspective, or your motives. Sooner or later, they are going to disappoint or fail you if you hold them up to your own standards, if they haven’t already.

For too many years, I caused undue harm to myself and my relationships by expecting others to behave, think, or do what I would.

I dream big, and that’s a good thing, but it also means I sometimes have to reel myself in. There’s a balance that we all need if we are going to thrive in life. That sweet spot evolves constantly, so don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are struggling to find it.  

Try this on for size, even for a week

Release everyone in your life from thinking, feeling, or behaving the way you would, and let them be who they are! Also, get real on what’s humanly possible, for you and for others. If you don’t hold people up to unobtainable standards and allow them to show their strengths, there will be less room for disappointment.

After all, it’s their unique qualities, their individual passions, that drew you to them to begin with. Appreciate their different perspective rather than focusing on the disappointment that they aren’t you.

Try that on for size and see how that shifts your dynamic. This is where unconditional love comes into play; the ability to love someone even when they don’t do what you want or expect them to do.

FYI, this applies to yourself as well! No matter how much of a super-human you are, you are still human, so give yourself some love, dial your expectations down to challenging but achievable and reset.  

Diffuse Disappointment

We can diffuse disappointment with this mindset adjustment and, with it, appreciate ourselves and our loved ones more. I hope this new perspective on expectations will help improve your quality of life, improve your relationships, and continue to guide you to your best self.

-Anik



All information, content, and material is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a qualified physician or healthcare provider. The information supplied through or on this page, or by any representative or agent of The Wellness Universe, is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Health-related information provided through this website is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems or to prescribe any medical devices or other remedies. The Wellness Universe reserves the right to remove, edit, move or close any content item for any reason, including, but not limited to, comments that are in violation of the laws and regulations formed pursuant to the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. None of the posts and articles on The Wellness Universe page may be reprinted without express written permission.


Live Online Event: 6 Tools for Happiness
Grab your free seat & learn 6 tools that allow you to experience more happiness!

Be one of the first 200 people to register and have a chance to win $1000+ of wellness gifts!
Live attendees win gifts & prizes!


This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 002-1024x1024.png
“I learned at an early age that you have to make your own happiness and that no matter how bad you think your situation is, someone else is experiencing a worse situation. Reading “The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care: 25 Tools for Happiness!” really reinforced that. In spite of almost overwhelming odds there are people who not only survived their situations, but they have also become teachers who help people in similar situations. The links provided at the end of each chapter guide you to people who can help you in your efforts to achieve a better life. I think this book is a valuable resource, not only to people who need help and think they are alone, but for their friends who don’t know how to help them.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Sailingwidow Amazon Reviewer
Grab your copy of The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care, 25 Tools for Happiness today!

The Wellness Universe is here to serve your best well-being. If you are experiencing anxiety, grief, overwhelm, guilt, anger, or seeking ways to cope and get help for stress, relationships, parenting, or any other issue during this challenging time, we have wonderful resources for you to connect with. Our WU Best Help members are offering reduced rates, sliding scale payment options, and even pro-bono sessions. 

WU Best Help

Find great products and services for your well-being from members of The Wellness Universe!

Comments

comments