Have you ever walked away from a conversation and felt drained as if the person you were just talking to had sucked all the energy out of you? Have you ever walked into a room where you could feel the heavy tension and immediately gotten a headache?
Highly sensitive people get challenged when they pick up other people’s energy and think it’s their own. When you’re an empath, the energetic nature of interrelationships can be tricky to navigate. Living in the paradox as both an individual and a part of the whole creates some boundary issues.
Healthy Energetic Boundaries
As energetic beings, we exist in an energy state as well as in a physical state. The energy that surrounds your physical body includes a layer of emotional energy, a layer of mental energy, and layers of spiritual energy expanding outward. Your energy emanates outward from the center of your being at your Source. When you are aware and connected to your Source, you feel plugged in, turned on, and energized. When you disconnect from your Source, your energy feels limited, and you easily feel depleted. No light when the lamp cord is unplugged. Plug in the lamp and, voila! Lights on.
When another person feels depleted, they might notice your energy as juicy and vibrant. They want some of your energy, so they feel juicy and vibrant too. If your individual psychic boundary isn’t firm, you might share more of yourself than you want, which leaves you feeling depleted. If you are an empath you might soak up other people’s energy like a sponge and think it’s your own. Many of my clients are empaths and struggle with the issue of healthy boundaries. My empath clients feel relieved to find me, a practitioner who gets them, so they don’t feel crazy.
Setting Psychic Boundaries
It took me a number of years to figure out the empathic connection. For years, whenever I was around one particular person, I got a stomachache. My guts would blow up with gas and I would feel physically uncomfortable. I couldn’t avoid the person because of family obligations. I would dread the family gathering because I didn’t know how to handle the abdominal discomfort. After several years of this repeated problem, I eventually discovered the solution.
I learned to open my heart and expand my love. I focused on connecting inward to the unlimited Source of Divine Love. I realized that my abdominal discomfort came from my heart being closed. When I started this heart-opening practice, my abdominal discomfort disappeared. I listened to my body\’s wisdom telling me that my heart was closed and opened my heart. Now, if I notice signs of the familiar abdominal discomfort, I immediately do a self-check to clear my negative fear-based thoughts. I toggle to soul and Divine Love and open my emotional flow through my heart. We all benefit.
Energy Cleaning Exercises
Maintaining healthy energetic boundaries is an important skill to master. Create a firm boundary around yourself, claim sovereignty within your space, and allow no other energy within your personal space. When you are in a group of people where you don’t wish to share the energy of others (for example, in a room of negative co-workers who are crabbing about the boss), you want to focus on strengthening your own positive, good feelings. Distance yourself from others’ lower vibrations so you don’t get sucked into someone else’s drama.
Try this exercise: Focus on a space behind your physical heart in front of your spine and imagine a doorway leading inward to soul connected to infinite Divine Love energy. Imagine infinite Divine Love flowing through you and surrounding you like a bubble. See with your mind’s eye your bubble filled with your energy infused with Divine Love. Make the bubble encircle you on all sides, above and below you. Imagine that your aura, your energetic biofield, sparkles with Divine Love. Notice any energy that is not yours inside your bubble. Declare sovereignty within your energy bubble. Give any energy that isn’t you permission to exist outside your bubble. Push any energy that isn’t yours beyond your personal boundary.
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Another way I address the energy boundary question is by getting bigger and going to the place where we are all connected. When you connect through your heart to soul and to God the Infinite, there is always enough love to share. I have fun in a room of negative people when I open my heart to soul and connect through soul to Divine Love, then blast the room with Divine Love and light. I watch to see who suddenly says something more positive and who leaves the room because there’s too much light. When I raise the vibration of my end of the thread, and I refuse to tug back on their thread of negativity, someone will either shift up or shift out. We are all related in an interwoven tapestry of life and love. When you uplift your vibration through your personal growth, we all benefit.
Enjoy this quick guided meditation to align with Divine Love within.
I love this poem by the Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. We are all related.
You are me, and I am you.
Isn\’t it obvious that we “inter-are”?
You cultivate the flower in yourself,
so that I will be beautiful.
I transform the garbage in myself,
so that you will not have to suffer.
I support you;
you support me.
I am in this world to offer you peace;
you are in this world to bring me joy.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Next month, we conclude our Seeking Serenity series with Living As a Soul-Infused Personality.
(This article is excerpted from Seeking Serenity: How to Find Your Inner Calm and Joy, by Leah Skurdal and available on Amazon.)
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Leah Skurdal guides people to up-level their stress resilience to improve relationships. Leah shares intuitive insights in private Energy Healing to address the roots of disharmony. As an inspirational speaker and published author, Leah offers lively classes, experiential workshops, and keynotes.