I never imagined I could be affected by the trauma of an old war I knew nothing about. The late 1940s and early 50’s were fun times, and my sisters and I were “baby boomers.” Everyone was happy, or so I thought, but when war comes home, its effects can impact multiple generations unless we strategically face the significant influence of generational trauma.
World War II stands as the most devastating and deadliest war in history, with bombing, massacres, starvation, and disease, including horrific examples of civilian targeting, resulting in 70 to 85 million deaths, over half of which were civilians. In no other military battle have civilian deaths surpassed military deaths.
My father was a pilot during World War II, and so were my mother’s brothers, including an uncle with a wooden leg. Yet, when I was born, the war was over. Life was sweet. Joyful visits between close-knit family homes were a frequent occurrence. Yes, I saw the old photographs of multiple family members in military uniforms, but I never imagined that military trauma had anything to do with me. After all, I didn’t experience the effects of a military family, or did I?
Secrets Among Best Friends – Never to be Disclosed
Dad told me that before he married Mom, my wooden-legged uncle was his best friend. They were both pilot buddies in WWII, but this uncle was special because he introduced Dad to his sister, my mother. Soon, Mom and Dad became engaged, and after their marriage, the two pilots remained close friends.
Babies were born, homes were purchased, and the resulting families were deeply intertwined with celebrations of life. We lived a few blocks away from one another, and I cherished visits with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. These were the happy times I will always treasure.
Despite our close relationships, my uncle’s leg, a casualty from the war, was never openly discussed with the children. It simply “was,” like the gentle sadness and fatigue in my father’s kind eyes, like the topic of war, like the cigarettes Dad lit one after another in the living room, or the way he quietly stepped aside to navigate through his chronic migraines. Nope. We didn’t discuss that.
The pivotal days, weeks, or months before, during, and after “the wooden leg” were something never to be disclosed, but when parents do not provide answers, children fabricate stories to fill in missing bits of information. Later, as adults, we piece together the truth. We feel, reveal, and heal when we are fortunate to find supportive communities.
Peeking in the Closet and Facing Our Fears
My cousins, sisters, and I were happy children growing up in the shadows of photographs of uniformed family members. There, tucked between Saturday afternoon silliness and family dinners, was my uncle’s bedroom closet where the wooden leg slept at night.
We would giggle, daring each other to open the door and peek inside. Sometimes we shoved one another toward the closet, as if it were haunted, teasing each other to mask a quiet fear we didn’t understand. That leg held stories no one could imagine, so we playfully invented our own—child-sized myths.
Looking back as an adult, I wonder what conversations I might have missed before my birth or while nestled in my crib. What was said during long, quiet evenings as the muffled sounds of the RCA TV droned on into the night? Did my mother and father share emotional pain? Did they comfort one another? They never mentioned the horror of war to their offspring, and rightly so.
Be Grateful, Work Hard, and Get Back on Track
The Great Depression preceded World War II, and my parents lived through it before the birth of their three children. I studied it decades later in school. The post-war economic boom was sometimes referred to as “the golden age of prosperity.” People bought homes, cars, and electronic devices. Unemployment rates were low, and businesses were thriving. We had country club memberships, a three-bedroom home, two vehicles, a horse, and a color TV.
In my family, health issues were considered a sign of weakness and not discussed. Yet, a brother-in-law’s (and best buddy’s) missing leg was certainly not something “out of sight and out of mind.”
My parents made it clear: everyone should be strong, work hard, persevere, get back on track, and stay focused.
“Here, it’s alright. You’re so dramatic. Stop crying, wipe your eyes, drink a glass of water, blow your nose, and when you are back to normal, join us.”
Why was I so sad? Like a good trooper, I cleaned myself up, adjusted myself accordingly, and “got back on track.”
What exactly was I getting back to? Isn’t pain, sadness, and grief a normal and healthy response? Yes, it certainly is.
The Pitfalls of Duty and Pride
Dad said he trained other pilots during the war and never flew in a combat mission, so he didn’t say much about the war. Conversation closed.
Both my uncle and father were humble, kind-hearted, religious, and soft-spoken. Still, the fact that Dad didn’t fly in combat seemed to linger like a shadow across his pride, particularly when asked historical questions related to our academic studies. Dad didn’t speak of those days, nor did my uncles. Instead, there was an avoidance, pause, or cordial joke among family members.
However, Dad, a successful owner of a car dealership and local entrepreneur, openly shared with me his daily battle with depression, addiction to prescription drugs, chronic migraines, and “nervous stomach.” As a veteran flight instructor and the devoted son of a minister, I suspect he experienced deep moral and spiritual conflict. Before I was born, his primary role was to prepare new pilots, readying them to carry out combat missions. Knowing Dad’s sympathetic nature and kind heart, I do not doubt that he experienced survivor’s guilt when, or if, one of those young officers never returned. Moreover, my uncle’s wooden leg at family gatherings was an inescapable visual reminder of permanent loss.
Among military families, active-duty personnel, and retired veterans, it can be a common practice to politely bury grief, guilt, and trauma beneath pride, duty, and silent service.
The 1940s and early ’50s weren’t times when emotions had space to breathe, especially for military personnel. Did they see friends, innocent children, or family members displaced, severely injured, tortured, or dead? Did my aunts or uncles suffer from mental health challenges? If the veterans in our families were traumatized many years before our birth, we certainly were not informed about it. This silent military thread undeniably shaped our family—not just in the moment, but across generations.
Mental Health Statistics Among Military Families
Statistics for WWII veterans are difficult to obtain because medical personnel didn’t officially recognize PTSD until 1980, but symptoms were widespread. What did WWII veterans experience, and how did that affect future generations?
Although the term PTSD didn’t exist, military and medical personnel used similar terms, such as shell shock, combat fatigue, and war neuroses. Many enlisted military personnel did not report mental health challenges in the 1940s, 50s, and 60s. However, the hospital admittance and discharge records from World War II give us an understanding of mental health after this most deadly war.
Those records show that over 500,000 service members suffered psychiatric collapse due to combat, and 40% of medical discharges during WWII were for psychiatric conditions. Among psychiatric patients who had served in combat, 54% met criteria for PTSD. Caring for mental health was considered a sign of weakness, and many veterans or military family members did not seek psychiatric care.
Today, we are better able to see and measure mental health challenges among veterans, active-duty personnel, and affected military families. Each year, over 6,400 U.S. veterans and more than 500 active-duty service members die by suicide. Veterans face a 58% higher risk, leaving behind thousands of bereaved military suicide-loss survivors in the U.S.
How Do Grief, Trauma, and Loss Affect Military Families?
Research studies show that traumatized military personnel, veterans, or their family members are at higher risk of experiencing physical, mental, emotional, or sociological symptoms such as:
Physical and Behavioral Symptoms
- Cardiovascular issues
- Immunological changes
- Increased risk of heart attack
- Increased risk for stroke
- Eating Disorders
- Muscle fatigue or neuromuscular weakness
- Chronic pain
- Alcohol, drug, or substance abuse
- Fatigue and sleeping disorders
- Idiopathic disorders
Emotional, Mental, and Sociological Symptoms
- Emotional instability or mood swings
- Disbelief, denial, or doubt
- Disorientation, confusion, loss of interest, or apathy
- Suicidal thoughts or actions
- Moral and spiritual conflict
- Chronic depression
- Paranoia or irrational fears
- Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD)
- Survivor’s guilt
- Stress, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD
How Do Families Experience Generational Trauma?
Families may transmit mental health challenges across generations. Although generational trauma is not an official diagnosis, it is a widely recognized and researched concept.
- Directly – Parents with PTSD can exhibit behaviors and emotions listed above (substance abuse, irrational fears, anxieties, eating disorders, etc.), which can be internalized and learned by their children, and passed forward to future generations.
- Vicariously – Children can develop symptoms of PTSD without directly experiencing or witnessing a trauma, but by internalizing reactions from other family members or loved ones, and even through television or other electronic devices.
- Epigenetically – Trauma can alter brain structure and affect the genes of those who directly experienced it. This transformation can have a profound impact on future generations. More research is being conducted to determine the causes of this phenomenon and to identify and manage these changes.
- Attachment Disorders – Children who are exposed to trauma can experience difficulties bonding with parents and family members and can encounter challenges building healthy relationships. Attachment disorders directly affect future generations.
From the Sound of Silence to Sweet Surrender
Back then, the sound of silence was woven into cigarette smoke, the evening news, and the heavy mood. We felt the sadness, but we were also a family of great faith, creative flow, and spiritual resilience.
As a grief, trauma, and pain psychotherapist, teacher, and coach for nearly fifty years, I encourage those experiencing mental health challenges to begin by surrendering to a higher power, loving themselves, their families, their community, and their lives. I work closely with them to feel, reveal, and heal through creative expression.
Today, surviving military families have a wealth of information, resources, and community support readily available to them. Veterans, active-duty military personnel, and military family members have access to a wealth of resources and tools. Children receive direct answers in grief support groups to help manage emotional chaos, confusion, or concern. Activities, private and group sessions, and trauma-informed care are not just available—they’re in abundance.
Veterans and military family members are no longer left to carry invisible wounds in silent isolation. Organizations like the Wounded Warrior Project, Headstrong, Stop Soldier Suicide Project, Warrior Writers, the Veterans Writing Project, and the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) offer compassionate, trauma-informed care. TAPS stands as a beacon for families grieving the death of a military loved one. With 24/7 support, peer mentorship, grief seminars, and Good Grief Camps for children, TAPS helps survivors find connection, healing, and hope.
Today, you are not alone. You have a supportive community, a story to tell, and limitless resources available to you.
Tips for Managing Grief, Trauma, and Loss
The following tips have been helpful to those navigating through challenging times. However, it’s essential to remember that we cannot measure success by someone else’s standards. Sometimes a successful day is getting up out of bed and combing our hair. Applaud yourself for small steps and set your own goals.
- Share your story in a safe community
- Seek out professional grief counseling or therapy
- Practice patience and perseverance
- Plan and schedule time to grieve in your way
- Volunteer to help others and reflect upon these golden opportunities that bring joy to life
- Delay major life-changing decisions
- Reach out to your religious community for comfort
- Accept and acknowledge your limitations, needs, and feelings
- Maintain connections with family members and friends
- Keep a routine of exercise, rest, and eating well
- Talk to your doctor or trusted health practitioner about your grief and trauma recovery
- Honor and cherish happy memories with loved ones
- Write a letter of gratitude to God, yourself, and your loved ones
- Remind yourself that there is no perfect way to grieve and no timeline for recovery. Do it your way
Healing Doesn’t Stop With Those Who Served
The psychological wounds of trauma and grief associated with military service extend beyond the uniform and ripple into families and communities across multiple generations.
My family members will always be my heroes and mentors, leading a spiritual life of devotion and service to God and family. Two of my family members ended their lives by suicide, each from a different generation. As a child and adult, I internalized the emotions and behaviors of my loved ones. Surviving families: spouses, children, parents—carry not only their trauma, but also generational trauma. Moreover, silence and unanswered questions shape the trauma they experience. Where grief was once hidden behind closed doors, now there are places to speak, be heard, and heal.
I invite you to reach out to experts in the field of mental health to begin your healing journey and join a mental wellness community, such as The Wellness Universe’s “Take My Hand Support Series,” to access information, resources, and emotional support.
Summary and Conclusion
Although researchers agree that generational trauma is a critical factor, it is still misunderstood and often disregarded or unacknowledged. Together, military families can make a difference by telling their stories. Storytelling is more than reflection—it’s reclamation, offering a way to process trauma, reduce anxiety, and reconnect with identity beyond military service. For surviving military families, it helps them honor their loved ones and transition from stressed to blessed as they find the needed help and healing.
Recognizing the existence of ancestral, generational, or secondary trauma is crucial for developing effective healing strategies for generations to come. Sharing my story is part of that shift, and telling it allows me to honor not only my family but the millions of people around the world who are survivors and thrivers of military trauma, grief, and pain. I encourage you to see mental health not as a weakness, but as a shared responsibility. Together, we are making a difference for future generations. Thank you for your service, strength, and courage in asking for help and receiving the effective treatment, tools, and support you need to achieve mental wellness.
About Jean Voice Dart
Jean Voice Dart, M.S., RMT, is a multiple international best-selling author, a psychotherapist of nearly fifty years, a certified coach, and a credentialed teacher who navigated through grief, trauma, shame, and pain, upleveling her life from stressed to blessed. She has witnessed a lifetime of miraculous transformations, helping others feel, reveal, and heal. Jean is a senior partner at The Wellness Universe and hosts the “Take My Hand Support Series,” bringing awareness and support for suicide prevention. She lives by the ocean with her husband and dog, Pumpkin.
Connect with Jean on The Wellness Universe and follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
Military Data References
- https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/docs/data-sheets/2024/2024-Annual-Report-Part-2-of-2_508.pdf
- https://www.dspo.mil/Portals/113/2024/documents/annual_report/ARSM_CY23_final_508c.pdf
- https://www.dspo.mil/Portals/113/2024/documents/quarterly_reports/TAB%20A_20241205_Quarterly%20Suicide%20Report_Q3%20CY24_508c.pdf
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Jean Voice Dart is a Certified Expressive Arts and Grief and Trauma Coach (CCF), Credentialed Expressive and Performing Arts Teacher (MS), Registered Music Therapist (RMT), and Master Level Energetic Teacher. Those working with Jean identify, embrace, and release blocked feelings and emotions through the creative, expressive, and performing arts. She has over forty years of experience in private and group sessions, helping people triumph over physical, mental, or emotional challenges.
Thank you, Jean, for sharing such an intimate glimpse into the hidden layers of generational trauma. Your story is a beautiful reminder that healing begins when we speak our truths, honor our loved ones, and allow space for compassion and understanding across generations.
Thank you very much, Janette. I appreciate your compassion and sincere words. I’m grateful to the wellness universe for their support of our suicide survivors, surviving military families, and those navigating through mental health challenges.