Since we’ve been hearing so much about removing what no longer serves us these days, The Wellness Universe reached out to several individuals who specialize in helping us determine if or when we should reintroduce people back into our lives. Glean from them as they share their expertise with us in this five-part series.
When a breakup happens, our inner child shows up along with childhood memories, wounds, and unmet needs rising to the surface. So much self-reflection occurs and allows us to practice growth and healing, but do we revisit the relationship again at one point? Good question.
“Conflict worsens when two people fall into defensive reactions, then there is no real communication happening, only trauma arguing with trauma.“
~ Yung Pueblo
I’ve recently heard that when we leave an abusive relationship and then step back in, we know that we’re healed when we can be indifferent and less triggered by any responses from our former partner.
Depending on the dynamics of the relationship and the potentially devious or delusional nature of the former partner, this can be extremely difficult. Just like training for a race or a marathon, it takes copious amounts of awareness, strength, and consistency.
“It is not about managing your emotions; it\’s about managing your reactions to your emotions.”
~ Yung Pueblo
We naturally feel, but consciously choose to react to how we feel. If we return to the relationship with a different lens, let it be our lens from a different viewpoint; a place of acceptance, realistic expectations, and imperviousness to taking any emotional bait.
Relationships are how we cultivate inner strength in our basic structure of human nature. They call us to our highest form of being. If we choose to break ties forever with someone who hurt us or accept and forgive them with no strings attached, it’s ultimately our choice, and sometimes there’s just more that we need to learn if we return.
-We accept without expectation
-We are aware of our safe space and how to fiercely protect it
-We are brave when we need to set firm boundaries
-We untether from attachments to see clearly
When she started letting go, her vision became clearer. The present felt more manageable, and the future began to look open and full of bright possibilities. As she shed tense energy of the past, her power and creativity returned. With a revitalized excitement, she focused on building a new life in which joy and freedom were abundant.
~ Yung Pueblo
Dipping a toe back into a previous relationship allows us a different perspective that doesn’t feel the same as before. Like a lizard shedding its skin, there is no going back to what once was, and neither can we. Nothing is ever the same as it was before it has forever changed. Either it evolves into an entirely new relationship, or we just simply move on.
Stress within relationships is a very sensitive subject. Please reach out to a trusted resource for your well-being.
If this inspired you and resonates with you, reach out to Julie Lennon as a trusted resource for your well-being.
*Originally published on February 11, 2022
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