Communicate Constructively Even When You’re Angry

Quote boxes with different thoughts inside

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

― George Bernard Shaw

Are you really good at maintaining a calm and positive mindset when your buttons are being pushed?

Let’s face it, everyone loses their cool sometimes. How do you communicate constructively when you are upset? Do you know what sets you off when you can usually deal productively with daily upsets?

It might be fatigue, the fact that you have changed the toilet paper roll for the millionth time, a microscopic amount of milk left in the milk container, or dirty dishes piled in the sink with food still in them. Maybe it’s quarreling siblings, your boss giving you more work than you can handle, or the car just blew its transmission! You probably can cope with a zillion small things that accumulate over time, until you reach a saturation point and want to scream.

So, how can you begin to communicate constructively, even when you’re already angry?

To begin with, always state what is going on inside your head when you’re upset. For example, let’s say that you have just gotten off the phone with a fraudulent telemarketer and you’re very angry. A colleague comes to your office door to tell you that an important shipment is behind schedule. You feel like this is the last straw. You really needed that shipment to arrive on time!

Instead of biting your colleague’s head off, tell them what you are feeling. “I am infuriated because I just got off the phone with a scam artist and what you are telling me is adding to my frustration.” It might take some practice to learn how to do this, but it is very effective. Your colleague won’t take your anger personally. In fact, they might end up doing something nice like getting you a cup of coffee in an effort to put a smile on your face.

Maybe you are frustrated because you have assigned certain tasks to get done on a project and they are behind schedule. You are upset because this job has a specific deadline. Before lashing out at your team, try a different approach. Walk in their shoes. After all, what is communication? It is also the art of listening.

You may be astonished to find out one of your colleagues just found out their child has cancer and is overwhelmed. Another colleague may be dealing with the death of a parent.

Talk and listen. Bless the people you work with. Send them words of encouragement and love.

Talking doesn’t get your point across, but listening does.

― Debasish Mridha

Here is another example that you may be able to relate to. Suppose your child was asked to clean the kitchen before you got home. He hasn’t done it and you get home after working a twelve-hour day. Talk to him and say, “Son, I am really tired and frustrated because I came home to a sink full of dishes. Can you tell me why you haven’t cleaned them?”

It doesn’t mean that they’ll get washed in the next five minutes, though! You are setting an example of how to communicate when tired and upset. Your children will emulate what you do. You are leading by example. Rome was not built in a day.

But the effort it takes to communicate constructively when you’re upset is well worth the long-term effects on everyone around you.

Did you know you can find help here? From personal to professional well-being, connect with someone who can guide you to a happier, healthier, and whole life! Become a WU Friend today!

If you provide support or products that make the world a better place and help humanity live in health, happiness, and wholeness, join us as a WU World-Changer.

Wishing you great success in all that you do!

– The Wellness Universe

*Originally published on November 21, 2018.

All information, content, and material are for informational purposes only and are not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a qualified physician or healthcare provider. The information supplied through or on this page, or by any representative or agent of The Wellness Universe, is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Health-related information provided through this website is not a substitute for medical advice and should not be used to diagnose or treat health problems or to prescribe any medical devices or other remedies. The Wellness Universe reserves the right to remove, edit, move or close any content item for any reason, including, but not limited to, comments that are in violation of the laws and regulations formed pursuant to the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. None of the posts and articles on The Wellness Universe page may be reprinted without express written permission.

The Wellness Universe presents Ahana Lara, MindShift Marketing Expert Leader guiding you through ‘MindShift Marketing: How to Ensure Results in Your Marketing and Your Business’ 6-month program that will help you accelerate your business success and enjoy marketing.

Catch the recorded session(s) and be sure to join the next LIVE class! 

Register today:  

WU 4 Book ADs

see how our self-care books are helping thousands of people around the world. Digital and paperback books are available now.

The WU Lounge AD

Self-development, self-care, and inspirational classes and sessions by Wellness Universe World Changer instructors who support your total well-being.

The Wellness Universe is here to serve your best well-being. If you are experiencing anxiety, grief, overwhelm, guilt, anger, or seeking ways to cope and get help for stress, relationships, parenting, or any other issue during this challenging time, we have wonderful resources for you to connect with. Our WU Best Help members are offering reduced rates, sliding scale payment options, and even pro-bono sessions. WU Best Help

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *