Ride inward on the spiral of grief until you find the center of your soul with the featured Inspiring Quote for January 13th by Carrie Doubts.
I want to say something about the shape of grief.
Grief is not linear. It’s not a rectangle, either. It doesn’t behave itself and stay within a neat box of “stages.” You don’t go “through” it like passing through another country on your way home, never to return. I hear so many of my clients exclaim, “Oh no, I thought I was done with this,” when they are experiencing a grief trigger. This is especially daunting when it happens several years after their loss, just when they think they are emotionally in the clear and the crying is behind them.
The reality is, when you are grieving, you can feel like you are going through the same feelings over and over again. It can be so discouraging and frightening to feel like you are in an endless loop of pain and sorrow. There’s another way to look at grief that I hope you will find helpful…
In a previous blog, I talked about the energy levels of grief. Grief naturally triggers an energetic stress reaction where you are experiencing life through the perceptual filters of self-victimization and blame. This is understandable and part of the process of adapting to your great loss. And, your reaction is just that – it’s not who you are. You are so much more. (To read more about the energy levels of grief, click here:
I see the process of grieving as a spiral.
You can move along the spiral, making great progress, feeling better, in general, then you hit another wave of sadness, yearning, anger, etc. It may feel exactly like the last time you felt this way – and if you just allow yourself to feel your feelings, express them, and release them, you will find that their intensity and duration are lessened with each step along the way, or with each turn of the spiral.