We’ve all felt rejection, but I want to challenge you in a new way to help you heal and move on, rather than suffer or keep it pent up.
As you can imagine, in my work I come across a swathe of negative emotions; healing rejection, loss, guilt, regret, and feelings of inadequacy come up a lot! This sounds like a bad thing, but every person that comes to me and shares their authentic feelings, it is one more person I can help move forward towards healing and empowerment.
You don’t need to dig deep
I bet if you take a moment, you can easily stir up an experience where you fear rejection or felt rejected.
In fact, fear of rejection is one of the top reasons we hold ourselves back from stepping out into what we really want. You might think to yourself, “I don’t care what people think,” and on a conscious level that might be true. But, your subconscious, the mind who governs your deepest belief patterns, feelings, and behaviours, categorically does care.
Your subconscious is drawing from its own hierarchy of needs. It is solely focused on avoiding risk and pain, actual or merely perceived, no matter how unlikely and often at all costs.
I’ve witnessed myself and so many others talk themselves out of opportunities because of the powerful undercurrent that these foundational programs subtly wield over our conscious selves. Moving from excitement into self-doubt, feeling “guided” to change their minds, or flat-out sabotaging themselves out of a good thing. That’s where discernment between your intuition and instinct is essential.
I have seen some powerful healings and transformations unfold when we can overcome this fear of rejection. So, how do we move forward, past these feelings of unworthiness, and lack of self-acceptance?
I have an unlikely solution that rose from the very depths of my being which has been instrumental in shifting the perception of this wound altogether.
Make peace with incompatibility.
Could it be? Actually, accepting rejection? Are you nuts?!
I questioned it at first too but then I explored it further.
What if we made peace with the undeniable truth that there will always be something or someone that will not be in total synchrony with our lives at that time. Instead of our current paradigm of rejection, unworthiness, disappointment, and inadequacy, what if we adjusted our perception to interpret it simply as incompatibility instead of lack or rejection? What a concept!
Imagine the future pains avoided completely by recognizing the loss, change, or “rejection” as a simple statement of incompatibility. When I sat with this realization, it totally changed how I saw and felt about rejection.
Do we blame Samsung chargers for being incompatible with iPhones? Do we see one as unworthy or not good enough because they don’t fit?
Of course not!
So, why do we blame ourselves or others when relationships evolve or devolve? Why do we feel disappointed when our assumptions aren’t satisfied? Or feel guilty for saying NO?
When we move into a space of non-judgmental acceptance with incompatibility, we are releasing ourselves from the self-imposed oppression of the fear of rejection; we are making peace with our past pains, and we are clearing the road to deep self-acceptance.
More powerfully, we are giving ourselves permission to be authentic, and for others to be empowered to do the same as well.
This week, adjust your vision from rejection to incompatibility and see how you feel that might be different than before.
Explore what wounds you are able to heal with this simple shift. And identify how this small change in your perception transforms how you might react differently than in past situations.
Recognizing the undercurrents of your subconscious patterns that are holding you back will save you a huge amount of heartache. Addressing these conflicting patterns will help you make positive strides forward and do a world of good for your self-confidence.
Minimize your pain and maximize your forward momentum – get to it!
Your humble guide,
Anik J. Malenfant
Connect with Anik today!
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Having overcome a number of challenges, Anik has discovered a new way of life without suffering & fighting. She took back her life. This is now the gift she shares with the world. She enjoys guiding the consciously-minded to create a supportive, productive, fulfilling, and abundant life in all areas.